It shall never be seen. It only exists in the realm of our dreams. But for those of us who are old enough - (that is, still alive) - we've imagined it, vividly.
It's the episode of Leave It to Beaver when the protagonist, our boy, discovers himself. He locks the door to his bedroom. He gets comfortable. He opens the centerfold. And when his mom knocks, he yells for her to go away, barely corking his frenzy. He only wants to be left alone, because - of course - the Yankees lost.
Which leads me to say of the 2025 Yankees...
Ward, there's something wrong with the Beaver.
Yep. Our team is in the pits. We cannot beat the Dodgers, the Phillies, the Jays or basically any rising, young roster - and that list might include Boston. We lose close games. We cannot move runners. We cannot hold leads. And worst of all, our homegrown shortstop - infield lynchpin for the last three years - is collapsing in front of us.
Anthony Volpe, the pride of Morristown, is being booed.
Not by a few malcontents. By crowds. Not on the road. At home. Not in rare moments. On a regular basis. Not just in "off" days, but minutes after banging the longest HR of his life. It happened last night with two outs in the 9th. A routine grounder. A generous hop. The game was over. Volpe snared the ball, plenty of time, then seemed to double-clutch. His throw landed in the dirt, unable to be saved by Paul Goldschmidt, a Gold Glove 1B.
Boos. Loud boos.
Fortunately, this time, the Yankees won. Volpe's clank didn't cost the game, which ended with the tying run on second, closer Devin Williams dangling from a thread, and the certainty that a loss - perhaps the worst defeat of 2025? - would sit in their guts for a long, long time.
Volpe heard the boos. Everyone did. You cannot un-ring such a bell. And in his postgame show, Ghislaine Boone could not explain them away.
The '25 Yankees are facing a serious, existential crisis.
Ward, there's something wrong with The Beaver.
Let's all wish the most ABOVE AVERAGE a HEARTY "HAPPY BIRTHDAY"!
ReplyDeleteI would give you a laurel and a heartly handshake, AA, if my arms were that long. Happy birthday!
DeleteIt's my wife's stepdad's birthday, too. What a coinkydink.
Laurel and a HEARTY handshake. Damn.
DeleteThanks Kevin - per your updated profile image, your next Pabst Blue Ribbon is on me....
DeleteThanks JM - please avoid any and all bottomless puddles today . . .
DeleteI was tempted to make a crude joke about June Cleaver's beaver, but I refrained.
ReplyDeleteVolpe hit that ball 452 feet, so they say. But a homer's a homer. His errors cost games. And they keep piling up. And homer or not, he's still batting .216 or something close to it.
Cashman never admits he was wrong until we live through the disastrous choice he made, for far too long a time. I guess Volpe's "underlying stats" must be incredible, because his visible stats kind of suck.
Courtesy of a friend in Brooklyn, I give you recent Scottish insults to Trump:
ReplyDelete1 "Onion-eyed flap dragon."
2 "Leather-faced piss jar."
3 "Mangled apricot hellbeast."
4 "Bawbag-eyed fuck bumper."
5 "Toupéd fucktrumpet."
6 "Knuckle-brained fart lozenge."
7 "Degenerate corned beef face syrup wearing wankstain."
8 "Rug wearing thunder nugget."
9 "Cock juggling thundercunt."
10 "Gerbil-headed, woodstained, haunted spunktrumpet."
"Ward, you were kinda rough on the Beaver last night"! Goldschmidt should have made the play last night. But, but the scary thing was the "way" that the Beaver, er Volpe threw the ball. His arm looked, to me, almost stiff, mechanical. It almost looked like the beginning of..... no I won't say it.
ReplyDeleteYip! Yip yip yip!
DeleteWait...is AA turning 18?
ReplyDeleteAA, HAPPY DAY!
ReplyDeleteThAnK u, E. D.
Delete@ JM....The Clementine Caligula, The Apricot Autocrat, The Nectarine Nero, The Bronzed Bullshitter, and The Orange Julius Caesar are my personal favorites!
ReplyDeleteHappy Birthday AA.....MCO https://youtu.be/LcDVETTUnaM?feature=shared
And 2 more for errant throws by VOLPE-6
Excellent.
DeleteThankz, CTCarl
DeleteOkay, I'll say it. "Ward, there's something wrong with my beaver."
ReplyDeleteI'm ashamed now.
It did seem like he double-clutched on that throw in the ninth. That can be a telling point for a case of the yips, or maybe a coach told him to set before throwing. If it wasn’t for lousy coaching, this team would have no coaching at all.
ReplyDeleteHappy BirthdAA.
ReplyDeleteDid anyone notice Boone's face after the win. Angry, lip chewing, joyless.
He's now one of us. Welcome to the club Aaron.
Gracias, Senior Doug K
DeleteI know it's wrong...but I love "thunder cut."
ReplyDeleteDamned spell check: "thundercunt". There, I wrote it!
ReplyDeleteAA: HAPPY BIRTHDAY! And bless you, for being one of that happy few who helps me stay sane in the Era of Drumpf (Trump's actual family name). May you live so long that you see the Yankees win it all again!
ReplyDeleteHappy to Oblige, Hoss! Thankz
DeleteYou are far above average, Above Average. Hope you're having a great day!
DeleteYeah, it was the nature of the throw, more than anything, that was disturbing. What was that? A physical problem? Judging by the silliness of the first error, I'm guessing more psychological. Oy.
ReplyDeleteBut of course Cashie will blame all of us for not clapping hard enough. "First you let Tinkerbelle die! And now this!"
Yip yip yipee!
DeleteHey, are the rest of us chopped liver? We all want to see at least one more before we expire!
DeleteI'm starting to think Judge is really hurt and they're gaslighting us until after the trade deadline.
ReplyDeleteAlso Boone, by defending Volpe and saying stuff like he's elite is why it's so hard for the fans to be supportive.
I think we are ALL tired of alternative facts and universes and being told something is true when it clearly is not and that makes us dig in and be down right hostile.
.The Yankees acquired outfielder Austin Slater from the White Sox for right-hander Gage Ziehl (New York's No. 18 prospect per MLB Pipeline) on Wednesday morning.
ReplyDeleteImmediate takeaway is that Judge may not be bsck for some time
DeleteI mean, if we have Austin Slater, do we really need Judge?
DeleteThe Estimable Keefe writes this. I agree...except that I have less faith in Rice. Rumfield, Rumfield, I say!
ReplyDeleteI think it’s time Paul Goldschmidt stopped playing against right-handed pitching, don’t you? The Yankees’ defense is a mess whether Goldschmidt plays or not, so they need to focus on creating offense and Goldschmidt just doesn’t do that. Goldschmidt has one home run since June 6 and a .589 OPS since the beginning of June. He has a .615 OPS against righties this year. Ben Rice needs to be playing against righties every game. He needs to be pinch-hitting for Goldschmidt against righties in games.
I fear you're right, 999. And even more infuriating—Cashie's fix is to trade yet another prospect for yet another marginal player, rather than bring up Spencer Jones. Maddening. Simply maddening.
ReplyDeleteOh, this gets better and better. Slater is a 32-year-old journeyman, a weak hitter and a mediocre fielder, who also tore the meniscus in his knee and missed a month this year.
ReplyDeleteGood numbers versus lefties. We are becoming the Devil Rays!
DeleteHe's not a great hitter, and he's an okay fielder, AND he's injured. A perfect Cashman acquisition.
DeleteWith Rice, we know the known. With Rumsfeld, we only know the known unknowns.
ReplyDeleteGotta assume that Rumsfeld has some big holes in his swing. Otherwise he would have either been brought up by now or traded. I NEVER read anything about him in baseball publications or even non Yankee blogs. Sounds like he's organizational filler.
Deletewhat really got me last night whilst watching the game was when Volpe faked dropping the ball to try to buy a double play. he was so self amused. almost as if he was thinking, "HEY! I BET THEY'RE GOING TO THINK THAT I JUST MADE ANOTHER ERROR" – and/or "HEY! I REALLY THOUGHT THAT THE UMPIRES WERE GOING TO THINK THAT I ACTUALLY DID DROP THE BALL BECAUSE I'VE MADE SOOOOOOOO MANY ERRORS LATELY"
ReplyDeleteSometimes it's a blessing that I can't watch most of the games live. But tomorrow I can. Looking forward to seeing Volpe commit errors in real time.
DeleteJeter catching shit for not coming to Old Timers' Day, celebrating the 2009 championship team. He said it's his daughter's birthday party, and Boomer Esiason is on the radio calling him a liar. Jeter is pissed.
ReplyDeleteJeter in a controversy? Accused of turning his back on Yankee tradition?
I'm surprising myself by actually being on Jeter's side. I mean, yeah, OTD is nice and all, but how important is it, really? We get to see how fat and old our favorite players are now? Let the guy have a life if he wants.
Bryce Harper was only 26 years old when the Phillies signed him.
ReplyDeleteIf they had our crack data analysis team, they would have passed due to underlying concerns.
DeleteOur guys put the anal in analysis.
From Pinstripe Nation:
ReplyDeleteNEW YORK – Forget box scores and trade rumors. The latest Yankees-related frenzy isn’t happening on the diamond or in the front office. It’s exploding across social media platforms, fueled by a series of TikToks posted by Olivia Dunne, the hugely popular LSU gymnast and influencer who happens to be dating Pittsburgh Pirates phenom Paul Skenes.
The reason? Dunne’s posts documenting an apartment hunt in New York City have sent Yankees fans into a speculative tizzy, dreaming of a future where Skenes dons pinstripes.
So before Judge had his MRI or whatever it was, the Yankees were panicking and ready to trade Goldie and Cody to replace him.
ReplyDeleteThe people running this shitshow are utter and complete morons.
Boone, on the other hand, continues to be an idiot.
We needed another RH bat, but they are doing it on the cheap. We only need pay 2 months of Slater’s 1.5M contract.
ReplyDeleteStill, there was a need. Grisham / Domínguez have struggled against left-handed pitching this season. Combined, the pair has hit .195/.299/.299 versus lefties in 2025. Slater has hit .261/.338/.522 with five home runs in 69 at-bats against lefties this season.
ICYMI: Luis Gil was sharp in his final tuneup @ SWB last night. He is schedules to start Sunday against the Marlins
That Jones boy returned to the lineup last night and had 2 hits. Now batting .409 “She’s real fine, that .409”
Effross was torched last night. Eff him. “Believe him missing with a number men, don’t expect to see him again…”
Still awaiting a move to reinforce the pen, the biggest need of all.
and Happy Birthday AA! 🎂
ReplyDeleteSlator has a 30% strikeout rate...fits right in...the NY Post described him as a "masher"...LMAO...
ReplyDeleteand Slater too...
ReplyDeleteTop of the 8th, Jays ahead of the O's 9-8.
ReplyDeleteThat's RUMFIELD, as in RENFIELD. (No wonder he's such a great fielder. 'Is that a fly?' Oh oh oh oh...')
ReplyDeleteYou're probably right, Kevin. But if there is a hole, it's hard to see where. He has never struck out more than 82 times in a season. He does not walk a great deal, but his OBP is still .395 this year...
...In fact, his stats are very comparable to the equally unheralded Don Mattingly's, during his last full year in Triple-A, in 1982:
ReplyDeleteMattingly: 130 games, 24 doubles, 10 homers, 75 RBI, .315, .815
Rumfield: 92 games, 28 doubles, 11 homers, 68 RBI, .312, .897
I'm not saying that Rumfield is Donnie Baseball. Among other things, he's 25, while Mattingly was 21, back in 1982.
But I think that, if you're a superior player at Triple-A, you have at least a shot to be an okay major-leaguer.
Instead, this will be the second year in a row that the penny-pinching Yankees leave a promising player down in Triple-A, rather than bench even for a few games, an obviously fading, former star.
Senseless! Jones, even more so.
Horace I have to say that I don't really disagree with you, Rumfield, considering the scraps that have taken the field should have at least been given a chance. To borrow a line from Captain Willard, "I don't see any method at all, sir".
DeleteOh, and if they don't want to replace Goldschmidt...Ben Rice is now another "un-demotable"? Makes zero sense.
ReplyDeleteAustin Slater is fucking elite!
ReplyDelete