Wednesday, July 9, 2025

Break glass. Engage the sirens. Unleash the sound truck. A Cashman makeover has been sighted, and there is no higher ground.

Testing, one-two-three! Warning! Hark! Danger, Will Robinson!  

Last night, the Death Barge gained a game - One Game, ka-ching - on ever-fearsome Seattle, a fellow contender for the coveted '25 wild card. 

The victory: 

1. Opens a two-game lead over Tampa and the Mariners for the postseason berth.

2. Spackles-over another critical injury to their pitching staff.

3. Lessens the spiritual sting of punting on DJ LeMahieu.

4. Helps grease the tongues of the YES team, as they happy talk their way into the all-star break.

5. Prepares us all for what's coming: another garage-sale, front-office makeover, which is how the Yankees ended up here in the first place (which is, actually, second place.)

Check the 20-day forecast, and you see a rather disturbing abyss headed our way, about four weeks from now. It is the gigantic radar image of Brian "Cooperstown" Cashman, as he seeks to acquire another Sonny Gray, Joey Gallo, Frankie Montas, et al, and drain an already neutered farm system to do  so. 

We do this every July. The sirens begin after the Fourth, as the Yankiverse starts discovering breakout prospects in Hudson Valley and Somerset. Fans hone in on - oh, let's say, TJ Rumfield - a slick-fielding, 6'5", 25-year-old 1B, who is hitting .288 with 9 HRs at Scranton, who everyone knows will never play an inning in pinstripes because - well - his contract doesn't specify it. 

Once the organization starts noticing prospects, say goobye. And once disappeared, we'll quickly be told they were never part of the Yankee Big Time Future Plan Prospect Parade. Whatever career they'll eek out in the Dennys and Friendlys of Kansas City or Cleveland, it was never gonna happen in NY because - well - their contracts didn't specify it. 

That's why your opinions don't matter within the grand infundibulum of the Yankee artificial intelligence brain trust. We see young overachievers, rather than the highly touted, big-contract, future disappointments. Let's face it: Somebody's gotta go, and it will turn out to be the kids who populate next summer's contenders, all of whom will harbor a little extra vigor when playing the Yankees. Did Brigadoon Refsnyder ever have a future in NY? Of course not. But he's still around, and - damn - Boston is rising.   

Get ready. We're going to trade for a 3B, and he won't come cheap. We're going to chase at least two bullpen spots, at the price of some top 20 prospects. We need a RH hitter, after LeMahieu hits the exit. (Will he be this year's Aaron Hicks? That is, go to some team and start hitting?) Sound the alarms, people. But make no mistake about where we are: We're in second place, probably to stay. Higher ground sounds good, but it might not be an option.

15 comments:

  1. "Infundibulum," outstanding word choice! As for the artificial 'intelligence' of the Yankee brain trust, you might be on to something. The team's decision-making has all the earmarks of a devolving AI program that lies to you and insults you, when you challenge it for giving bad information.

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  2. The Yankees front office is just Grok in human form. The ownership certainly is.

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  3. 1) the annual rite of watching the slow motion train wreck that is the intern's trade strategy begins. It will end as well as it always does.
    2) wild finish to the phillies-giants game: https://www.espn.com/mlb/video/_/gameId/401696286
    3) older threads are missing again

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  4. 17. Why are the older threads disappearing? Are they in fact being sucked down into an undulating infundibulum of unknown origin? If I had the time or inclination I’d launch an investigation into this mysterious mystery….. BUT…….coffee beckons me.

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    Replies
    1. Google owns Blogger. I think Hal pulled a few strings.

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    2. no more silly photo illustrations then, I guess . . .

      (must make them even sillier)

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  5. Love "grand infundibulum!" Yeah, Yanks COULD have had Bregman. But...that would have cost HAL bucks.

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  6. I had something removed from my infundibulum once. Thank God I was a lot younger, the recovery went without a hitch.

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    Replies
    1. I had a friend that had a pretty nasty testicular torsion as a teen and had to have what one could describe as a fairly invasive surgical procedure to resolve the situation. Needless to say he had to move forward in life a tad less symmetrically constructed . . . perhaps that infundibulum removal allowed you to dodge that sort of bullet, so to speak, kind of, in a way.

      HEY....what about JAZZZ at second and DJLM now looking on.

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    2. I got hit with a hard liner maybe 20 feet away. That hurt. Years later, it got weird and they removed an infundibulum, but had no idea what the deal was. At least it wasn't the big C.

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  7. I never expect the rookies to pan out, the Yankee draft strategy has been wacky since Cashgrab took over. They draft kids they can overhype for trades and hope someone bites. It’s not like the ones they trade tend to do much. King maybe? The rest tend to be replacement level guys.

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    Replies
    1. This organization has a way of stunting young players. Most stay stunted. But a number are very serviceable.

      King, Gleyber, Holmes are the recent class, but I know you mean really young guys.

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  8. "We're going to chase at least two bullpen spots, at the price of some top 20 prospects."

    I read this as "at the price of 20 top prospects." Wouldn't surprise me in the slightest.

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  9. How many Yankee farmhands have had even decent MLB careers in the past twenty-five years? With any team? Don't worry. Be happy...

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  10. Judge, Cano, Gardner, Severino, David Robertson, Phil Hughes, Ian Kennedy, Alphonso Sorriano, Wang, El Duque,

    Still not great for 25 years though.

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