Reasons to be cheerful, part three

Hey, kids! Don't be down! Turn that down upside frown! Or something.

Sure, things aren't going our way, but it's not all bad. Honest. Consider these happy thoughts as you rise and shine on this simply swell day!

1. Stanton is hitting. Sometimes there's somebody on base, too! And he can hit homers late, when it would really count if we had a bullpen!

2. We got Rosario! Not only a decent hitter who can platoon nicely with our new third baseman, but absolutely hysterical on Will and Grace.

3. Judge didn't die! Or have a season-ending injury! The MRI said so, and the front office would never mislead us on that score.

4. Any day now, Fried will be back to normal, throwing a blistering fast ball!

5. Luke Weaver is still coming back from an injury. He wasn't rushed, there nothing still wrong with him. He's just shaking off a little rust!

6. The Martian is catching flies in left field! No fooling!

7. Uncle Ben Rice behind the plate!

8. The more they lose, the cheaper the tickets on the secondary market!

9. The original Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom is on MeTV at 7:00 EDT every Sunday! Marlin Perkins has still got it!

10. Boone will not be manager at some point in the future... Criswell predicts!