(Direct quote): "Every year since the shortened 2020 season, the Yankees have suffered at least one spring training injury to their rotation... now, the Yankees’ starting depth is in worse shape than it was a year ago."
It's true. Dear God, it's so horribly, sickeningly true...
Last year, after Gerrit Cole, Luis Gil, and Clarke Schmidt went poof in spring training, the Yankees reassured us of their depth. To fill the void, they would let the Olympian foursome of JT Brubaker, Carlos Carrasco, Marcus Stroman and Will Warren compete for the final rotation spot. No problem, they said. Just jiggle the handle, and all would be okay.
By opening day, Carrasco, Stroman and Warren were all in the rotation.
Somehow, incredibly, the current Yankees have entered 2026 with less pitching depth than last year, around now. Every possible trade for a starter will require an avalanche of young talent - The Martian would almost surely go - and, frankly, the Yankees don't have enough butter in their larder to put together a competitive package. Nor are there any relevant free agent arms the market.
These days, here's how the Yankees define hope: Max Fried, Cam Schlittler, Ryan Yarbrough, Gil, and the population of Wilkes-Barre.
Carlos Rodon might return in May.
Cole might return in June.
Schmidt might return.
Yesterday, the Yankees signed Kaleb Ort.
Have a nice day.
Hal is a cheap asshole, traits common among many, if not all billionaires. He inherited every from Dad, including the asshole gene, but not a love for the Yankees. Brian is an idiot who thinks he's a genius, common among many morons, but especially so with idiots who are handed a dream job without having actually earned it. Boone is just a meat puppet who follows orders. If he were an ICE agent, he'd be shooting people. Instead, he fills out the lineup card and then dreams about whatever he dreams about while he's sitting on the bench, letting the game float by him like the breeze off of a stockyard.
ReplyDeleteI agree on all points, except Boone. If Boone were in ICE, he'd be the PR flack who spins ICE murders into acts of love for our country and promise us a better tomorrow, while they turn our country into total shit.
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
Delete@Doctor T: 🎯
DeleteIt should be apparent by now that the Yankees aren't just on auto-pilot, their dumpster-diving player collection is being done by an AI app. In the meantime, the front office staff have abandoned the office and retired to the country club, where they grouse about how people don't want to work these days and talk about vacation plans.
ReplyDeleteHal, who has forgotten about the Yankees altogether, is trying to figure out how to get in on the Great Venezuelan Oil Boom He's one of the many smaller players who tried unsuccessfully to get in on Trump's televised oil barron meeting. Alas, Hal may be a billionaire, but he's still small potatoes to the real Masters of the Universe. They didn't return his call.
Forgotten, his inheritance - the Yankees - continues to drift out into the Atlantic until it joins the other debris fields that constitute humanity's contribution to the earth. Hal won't care until people stop paying money for the Yankees. Then, the 'man kicks dog' personnel management model for the Yankees will kick in and will result in some coaches getting fired for underperforming.
ReplyDeleteYou're gonna cry ninety-six wins
You're gonna cry ninety-six wins
You're gonna cry, cry, cry, cry now
You're gonna cry, cry, cry, cry
Ninety-six wins
Come on and let me hear you cry, now
Ninety-six wins, woo
I wanna hear you cry
Night and day, yeah, all night long
Boo-Hoo
No relevant free agent pitching talent left. Are you kidding, Duque? Didn't you hear the Auburn Autocrat promise to invade Mexico shortly? Hell, look at all the talent that will soon be available via the Mexican League! Including Colin Kaep... umm, Trevor Bauer.
ReplyDeleteLots of quality arms in Greenland, I hear...
ReplyDeleteKaleb Ort!
ReplyDeleteWasn’t Ort the name of the robot in “The Day The Earth Stood Still”? I didn’t know the robot’s first name was Kaleb. Someone could’ve said, “Hey Kaleb! Quit vaporizing shit!”
Or as I would say to Steinscammer,
ReplyDeleteKlaatu. Barada. Nikto.
Current steroid testing protocols can not detect nano-bot performance enhancers introduced directly into the player's bloodstream via a variety of delivery methods, such as:
ReplyDeleteº In-Game Hydration Coolers
º Flavor-Coatings to seeds, bubble gum and buffet food items
º Person Care Essentials, such as soaps, shampoos/conditions, shaving and grooming products
So I say – – –
COME ON NOW !
JOIN THE MODERN AGE !
BE ALL THAT YOU CAN BE !
SEIZE YOUR POTENTIAL !
DISCOVER LIMITLESS POSSIBILITIES !
MAKE YOUR MOMMY PROUD !
DISTRACT !
EXTRACT !
ATTACK !
Ort, who is 33, is 5-7 with a 5.00 ERA, lifetime. Sigh.
ReplyDeleteAll too true, guys. I will only say a word in favor of Boone—incredibly enough—whose basic nature seems to be sweet. I mean, the guys spends his off-seasons doing volunteer work in, I think, Haiti, and has actually adopted a couple of orphaned, Haitian kids.
ReplyDeleteI can't ever see him joining ICE. Instead, he would be the local deputy sheriff, who starts up from his afternoon nap at his desk when he hears ICE murdering civilians, draws his gun...and manages to shoot himself in the foot.
Which foot, Hoss?
Delete(asking for a friend who’s a podiatrist)
Thanks, BTR999! Agreed Horace. Boone is probably a decent guy. I expect he's easy to share a beer with at the bar. But Hal, Randy or Lonn? Totally miserable creeps. One worse than the other.
ReplyDeleteAll of them bad for baseball and the fate of the NY Yankees. Randy should have gone to jail 30 years ago for accepting Yankee bribes.
Or giving bribes in the form of tickets to Gov.Paterson.
Deleteso does this mean that Boone is not an idiot ?
ReplyDeleteJM will be crushed.
He's an amiable idiot. Good for shoulder massages, sharing a beer and comforting screwups, not managing big league ball games.
DeleteFrom MLB.com: “Kennedy Corona, who was traded by the Mets in the 2019 Jake Marisnick deal, has signed a minor league contract with the Yankees”
ReplyDeleteApparently, that is his real name.
tell Hal we're tired of all the winning. tell Randy to come out back so we can hose him down and put him back in his stable. get Brian out from under the bed and put him to work.
ReplyDeleteMore Boone to come.
ReplyDeleteStay tooned
Well, surprise, surprise. It's official: the Yankees say Cody Bellinger is moving on, and claim he demanded Aaron Judge-level money: $37 mill a year.
ReplyDeleteCould be true. Could be purest malarkey. And who cares? The Yanks put themselves in a box where they had to sign him. They did not. So now they'll pretend to chase Bo Bichette for a while. They won't sign him, either.
Maybe we'll hear some bleats about Kyle Tucker for a while. Or a pitcher—any pitcher. Wouldn't be so bad, passing on these guys...except that they have absolutely no "Plan B" to pivot to. Instead, they will simply finish third (or worse), have their first losing season since 1992, and sit around trying to blow up baseball with the other noodniks.
I sincerely hope they do.
So true, Hos. Hal has left the building, except to periodically complain about payroll and hope the union gets broken in the next lockout. He'd prefer a KC Royals payroll, with Yankee-class revenue streams. He's never getting both.
ReplyDeleteCashman out-thunk himself and spent what little he had to spend, by proffering a qualifying offer to Grisham, in the deluded belief he'd turn it down and the Yankees would get a compensation pick. Sorry, Mr. Mighty Brain, wrong again. Now Cashman is sulking and screwed.
Boone will pop a bright penny in the waffle meter this spring and put the best face he can on this shit show. But at some point, he's going to realize things will never change, take his winnings and retire, if he's not thrown overboard by a panicking Cashman.
Levine and Trost will be unaffected, until revenues crater. Even then, they will be protected by Hal's profound disinterest in doing any real work at all.
There is no plan B. The front office has fucked itself. I expect a long, whimpering decline, followed by threats to abandon NYC, unless they get concessions on their rent. Their two best PR flacks, Boone and Cashman (yeah, I know) will lose all value defending the indefensible Hal Steinbrenner and trying to sell shit to the world.
By 2028, Judge will have wasted his hall of fame career
(and sacrified millions of dollars) carrying the Yankees on his back for an incompetent leadership who don't care about anyone but themselves. MLB will be a smoldering crater of declining value and public disinterest, thanks to the garbage that own the sport. Hal will be deep into crypto or other, unproductive money making schemes and America will be a shell of it's former self, as we try to recover from the disastrous Trump years. Americans will have more important things to worry about than baseball.
Perhaps Yankee Stadium can be repurposed for free concerts and HS athletics. At least the kids would get something out of the destruction of baseball.
Or maybe Mamdani can turn it into affordable housing. That would be much more useful than baseball, and this gang of useless shitheels will finally be gone from our lives.