Of course, I mean Randal Grichuk, the non-roster free agent who has finally broken the six-year reign of Jasson Dominguez - aka, the Martian - as the Yankees' great hope.
Nope. This is the Year of the Grich, whose RH platoon bat has chased the Martian to Scranton, or Wilkes Barre, or maybe Kansas City. Last year, he was our future star. This year, shall his name even be spoken aloud?
Randal is the new Jasson, Aaron Judge is the new A-Rod, Jose Cabalero is the new Volpe and Oswaldo - dear Oswaldo Cabrera - is the new Oswald Peraza. (He's also headed to Scranton.) For a team that generally stood pat this winter, the Yankees sure have managed to bleach their roster of hopeful smiles.
Meanwhile, in Boston, all systems are GO for Caleb Durbin to become a fireplug, Yankee-hating 3B. In Toronto, Vlad Jr. has made his bones as a postseason star. In Baltimore, the Polar Bear has arrived, and in Tampa, the Rays now proudly play in "GMS Stadium," abbreviating the name of their host, (though unabbreviated sewers could still give Old George the last laugh.)
Here comes 2026 - a year of wars, midterms, natural disasters and A.I.
As for the Yankees, only God knows.
Wait... God and you.
It's time to show the world how pessimistic, dour, hopeless rooted we all are.
Between now and Wednesday, put down into the comments sections your predictions for the 2026 Yankee sayer of sooth contest. The winner takes bragging rights in all conversations across the Yankiverse.
Wednesday, I'll render unto humanity my predictions. In the meantime, here are the three categories.
1. Number of Yankee regular season wins. (Playoffs don't count.)
2. First tie-breaker: Number of HRs that Ben Rice will hit in 2026. (On Yankees or with another team.)
3. Second tie-breaker: Number of games Gerrit Cole will win.
Last year, here were the predictions.
Okay, everybody. You know the drill. Pour your insights into the comments sections, and I'll put together the prediction board. Remember all those games that didn't matter? They're about to disappear. Have at it!
Yankees will win 90 games
ReplyDeleteRice will hit 27 HR’s
Cole will win 10 games
93 games
ReplyDelete28 HR
11 wins
94 games, 26 HR, 14 wins
ReplyDelete89 wins, 32 Rice HRs, 15 wins for the Colace.
ReplyDeleteSpeaking of which, I saw an article about a research study that concluded Colace doesn't actually work, it's no better than a placebo. Is that a bad omen?
Duque's headline on this post reminded me of "Lay Down" by Melanie, which was a song I really liked 50-some years ago. My wife and I saw her as part of a multi-act 60s rock show. She didn't have a band with her, and she was pretty bad. But she really milked "Brand New Key," one of the more insipid songs among insipid hippie tunes.
Denny Laine opened, solo, missed the high notes singing "Band on the Run," and the crowd basically ignored him. After he played, Cousin Brucie, the MC, was kind of shocked and admonished the crowd for treating a legend that way.
Best part of the show was the Turtles. They were great. Closing band was the Rascals, which somehow were pretty boring, and Felix Cavalierie seemed like kind of an asshole, but whatever.
Thanks for the memory jog, Duque!
Duque, you got it right in my opinion. Playoffs and exit and excuses are coming.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteOLIVER TIBERIUS SAYS:
ReplyDelete(That's Above Average's Cat)
100 Wins
34 Rice-A-row-Knees
13 Weens for Cole
MEOW!
ABOVE AVERAGE SAYS:
ReplyDelete(That's Above Average's Cat's Owner)
92 Wins
30 Home Runs
12 Cole Victories
All right, having been spectacularly wrong with my predictions of just 66 wins in each of the last two seasons, I am forced to concede that the AL—and MLB in general—is simply not good enough for the Yankees to manage a losing record.
ReplyDeleteThe big question is whether they're pitching, starting and relieving, will completely implode this year. I dunno. But all the injuries going into the season, and the thin bullpen, do not bode well.
Beyond that, you have an aging lineup, and at least three guys—Wells, McMahon, and The Inevitable Volpe—who won't hit a lick.
Part of me, nearly overwhelmed by the natural optimism of spring, and the start of a new season, wants me to go high. But I won't. As Duque has pointed out, everybody in the AL East got better save the Yankees, and of course we're run by the Dyspeptic Duo.
I say:
83 Wins
31 Home Runs for Rice
4 Cole Victories (an ACL is hard to come back from, and there are likely to be setbacks)
Also, my predictions for 2027:
ReplyDelete0 wins, for everybody. And...0 everything else.
HA
DeleteBut look at the bright side, Hoss.
DeleteCome mid-July, everyone will want to be at Yankees Stadium to pick up their commemorative, very limited edition NY Yankees ICBM bobblehead.
But get there early - only the first 20,026 fans get one.
79 WINS
ReplyDelete23 HRS FROM RICE
7 COLE WINS
93 Wins for team
ReplyDelete23 HR for Rice
8 wins for Cole
Returning from my self-imposed exile to say
ReplyDelete83 wins
25 hrs for Rice
9 wins for Cole
85 wins
ReplyDelete19 home runs for Ben
7 wins for Coke
92 wins, 26 HRs for BR, 8 Ws for Cole
ReplyDelete365 days of profit for Hal
ReplyDelete162 opportunities for Brian to polish his rhetoric
30 ejections for Boone
Bitty - Boone can't argue with umps anymore... ABS. So now he will do even less.
ReplyDeleteYankees will win 90 games
ReplyDeleteRice will hit 26 HR’s
Cole will win 9 games
32 players will see time on the injured list
Yankees will implode in the playoffs, if they make it that far.
162 excuses given by Boone
100 false promises by Cashman
Monthly statements of support of Boone & Cashman by Hal, followed by contract extensions, no matter how badly Yankees implode
93/23/3
ReplyDeleteYankee wins: 92 wins. Rice HRs: 29. Cole wins: 10.
ReplyDelete88 Wins, Rice 27 HR, Cole 13 Wins
ReplyDeleteYankees 83 wins
ReplyDeleteRice 27 HR
Cole 8 wins