"The Yankees got their man yesterday," beamed MLB.com, in its own form of bending air.
And, alas, here we are... watching at home.
At the time, Durbin was a buzzy IF pizza rat who had become Maury Wills in the Arizona Fall Instructional League, setting records for base stealing and - at 5'6" - reminding Yank wags of Dustin Pedroia and Jose Altuve - the diminutives who perpetually kill us.
Instantly, the trade was hailed as a glorious Yankee victory - by the Yankees, anyway. Durbin was too small, the whispers said. Cortes had passed his sell-bye date - (and somebody had to take the blame for the 2024 World Series) - and the Yankees needed a closer. Even if Durbin emerged, he couldn't hurt us in Milwaukee. I mean, when was the last time Milwaukee hurt us? (Are you old enough to remember Del Crandall and Warren Spahn?)
Of course, Williams turned out to be a disaster. He lost his job to Luke Weaver, who got Scott Proctored, and both ended up on the Mets. Williams finished 2026 with a 4.43 ERA. Yikes.
But last winter was when Milwaukee traded Durbin to Boston. That's where the Yankee nightmare begins. The Brewers received Shane Drohan, David Hamilton and Kyle Harrison - all of whom are on the current playoff roster. The Redsocks got Durbin, Andruw Monasterio and Anthony Seigler, all of whom played a role in their turnabout season. Durbin overcame a horrendous first two months to bat .248 with 13 HRs and 20 SBs, with a growing reputation as a sparkplug. He'll enter 2027 as Boston's everyday 3B.
And the Yankees? Well, they spent all of 2026 searching for a third-baseman, which turned out to be Ryan McMahon. He hit 11 HRs, batted .213, and - worst of all - let it destroy his defense.
Yep, everything turned on that Durbin deal, where the Yankees traded rising youth for past performance. It's our signature move. Congrats to all.
When Cashman retires, the greatest hits of his career will fill volumes. We could spend decades debating which of his moves are the Cashmaniest. Dozens of trades, each of them alone fit to be the crowning disaster for any mortal GM, each of them yielding negative returns, gifting talent to opponents, sabotaging the NY roster and crippling payroll flexibility for ages to come. He just keeps on performing at this level, year after year, decade after decade, learning nothing and never suffering any consequences. You'd think he would at some point have to question his approach and try something different for once, or that he would get some moves right just by dumb luck. But if anything he's upped his game and gotten more incompetent as he gets older and more experienced. The man is an absolute legend. Forget Ripken and Gehrig, this is the real Iron Man of MLB. We're privileged to witness this performance, unrivalled in all of baseball history.
ReplyDeleteThere was that 2016 trading deadline, where he traded away a couple veterans for prospects and gave Judge, Sanchez, and a couple other young players a chance. It was very nearly a disaster, as the young players performed well while making the league minimum salary. Fortunately Cashman was able to right the ship and get the Yankees back on track to where they are today. That just goes to show what a consummate master of the game he is, always ready to make adjustments (bringing in old speed players to steal bases, or batting nothing but right-handers in the House that mimics the House that was carved out of the House that Ruth built) but always committed to his core goal of unending mediocrity.
ReplyDeleteBriana is our lady of perpetual dumbfuckery.
ReplyDeleteBrilliantly said, Kaiser! And hilarious, Bitty!
ReplyDeleteI particularly liked, "the House that mimics the House that was carved out of the House that Ruth built."
Yeah, at the time, I remember thinking, "Isn't this the guy who just let Pete Alonso walk them off with that bomb?" and "How can you be an ace close with only a change-up?"
But Brian didn't let that stop him...
As Der Kaiser points out, the way in which Cashman learns absolutely nothing from experience, and nothing from baseball is simply mystifying.
ReplyDeleteForget his being the real iron man of ONLY baseball. I cannot think of any GM in all of North American, major-league sports who has stayed so long in one place with so little success—without at least being the owner of the team (Looking at you Cornelius McGillicuddy).
The only other one I can think of in terms of such longevity is Red Auerbach. And he had, let us say, a tad more success than our Brian.
...and lobster tail with filet mignon tastes a tad better than steaming dog shit.
DeleteBut I should stop this. Of course someone else is to blame for the Durbin trade. Soon the next Cashman roadie will write a book, explaining how Aaron Judge or Lonn Trost or old dead George, or maybe Gleyber Torres or Austin Wells DEMANDED that he bring in The Airbender.
ReplyDeleteEight million scapegoats in the naked city.
The buck stops.....THERE....
ReplyDeleteAnd I tried to write "toadie," not "roadie." If you know so bloody much, autocorrect, how come you haven't figured out Brian Cashman is the furthest thing from a rock star?
ReplyDeleteDurbin had (1) a disastrous first two months in Boston before (2) turning it around, eh? The first part of that sentence sounds a lot like Jasson Dominguez. The second part of that sentence never happens on the Yankees. JD never got a chance to get it going. These two guys played almost exactly the same amount at that point in time, I recall. Then Durbin got more playing time, whilst JD got the hook, got sent down to the minors. Once again, it just proves that this Yankee management is terrible at player development. Terrible managing, terrible coaching, terrible at giving players a chance. If they had simply played JD all year, come hell or high water, we'd know a lot more right now. Since they yanked the rug out from under him, we still don't know how good JD will be. He's definitely a major leaguer, but how good is he going to be? Fucking asshole Cashman. Fucking Boone. They fucked it all up. And still didn't even get past the Tampa Rays. Another wasted year.
ReplyDelete