Friday, November 8, 2019

To recruit Gerrit Cole, CC is pitching to the wrong man

Two weeks into crotch-scratching, pre-Boomerhood retirement - or maybe his next career - CC Sabathia has reportedly met with Gerrit Cole to extol the splendors of suiting up with the legendary New York Yankees... the 2009 World Champs! What an honor. The fans! The perks! The mystique! Yankee life! Money for nothin', and the chicks for free! 

Don't get me wrong: I love it. To have a walking bronze plaque recruiting for the Yankees - well, I'd sure sign. (I can still go to my left.) Five summers from now, 20,000 of us will stand in a field to watch CC enter the Hall, and he'll already be two years into Monument Park. I hope the Death Star keeps him, if only as a goodwill ambassador, like Joe Namath and Colonel Sanders. 

But what good is goodwill, if the top dog has already set his budget, and it doesn't include a $30 million bump? To make Gerrit Cole a Yankee, it's not Gerrit Cole who needs his tummy rubbed. If Food Stamps Hal Steinbrenner continues to set fiscal austerity atop his priority list, all the back-slapping in the world won't bring an ace to Gotham.

Lately, I've felt a distinct angst across the Yankiverse, a refusal to get hyped over free agents. Twenty years ago, signing Cole would be a done deal: top players were courted without concern about the price. The only goal was the World Series. While Halligator-arms Hal surely wants his hobby team to win, he has shown repeatedly that the primary directive is to avoid luxury taxes. (To be fair, they are larger taxes than when his daddy ran the team.) Basically, it adds up to one sure thing: 

Cole will not be a Yankee.

Nope. That's the buried lede, folks. No matter what you read, no matter how hopeful the words may look in ether, the closest that Cole will get to the Yankees has already happened: He heard CC's pitch and nodded his head. When Cole visits NYC on his official Scott Boras goodwill tour, he will get a night on the town, praise from local dignitaries, a blowjob if he wants one, and a ticket to the next city. He will not get a $30-$35 million contract, and he probably won't get any offer at all. We all know this. It's fun to fantasize, but seriously... we all know this.

What's hard to accept is a sense that the 2020 Yankees should be formidable. Barring another wave of injuries - no, even with one - the Yankees will contend for the post-season, and from there, everything is a crap shoot. (Tampa and Toronto could be vastly improved, though.) Add Cole to the Yankees, and suddenly, we have our game one starter. Sign Gerrit Cole, and we could win the 2020 World Series.

Some have criticized Cole's apparent detachment in the clubhouse after Houston lost. He didn't say the right things, the way Jeter would have done. I don't think we should hold that against him. The guy had just watched his team lose, while he warmed in the pen, hoping to pitch on just a few hours rest. It would be far more revealing if he had phoned in sick, saying he couldn't pitch. Players react to Doomsday in strange ways. Didn't El Chapo flash a grin? 

But if CC wants to recruit players, go for it! Get Strasburg on the line. But meeting with Cole was only a start. Now, CC must convince the real power. He must recruit Hal. Godspeed.


Anonymous said...






TheWinWarblist said...

It's weird how George's wild spending sprees never hurt the value or profits of the franchise. George just spent and spent and when we didn't win he spent some more. And then there were Yankee taxes, ah-hem sorry, "luxury" taxes, but George kept spending. And the franchise kept getting more and more valuable and profitable. And with every WS victory everyone rejoiced. Especially the Yankee accountants! But Food Stamps knows better. Don't improve the product. Save that investment capital. Make sure it does nothing to improve the product you put out there. Yankee fans can just be like Mets fans, right? Shut up and be happy for the crumbs you're given.

Hal should die in a prison riot.

HoraceClarke66 said...

Exactly Duque, and Warbler.

But you see, Old George's way entailed risk. Sure, you had everybody talking about the Yankees all the time, even in the offseason, until the team became the biggest thing since Barnum's circuses.

But there was always a chance you would lose money on this or that acquisition. So, no more.

13bit said...

Triple ditto, Duque, Winnie and Hoss.

And I might add, BEFORE his picturesque demise in a prison riot, can we add something to the script, possibly with the young prince getting buggered in the prison shower room while biting down hard on a bar of lye soap while his cellmates are all lining up for a piece of the action?

TheWinWarblist said...

Medieval pliers and blow torch.

Anonymous said...

Duque is right. It’s really Hal.

Secretary: Mr. Steinbrenner will see you now.

CC: Thank you.

CC enters Hal's office and looks around. On Hal’s desk sits his first Trick or Treat for UNICEF box, (Still full – he never turned it in), bobbleheads of Scrooge McDuck and Donald Trump, and a stacks of coupons from the Sunday NY Daily News.

This isn’t going to be easy.

Hal: CC! Good to See See you.

CC (Gives him a forced laugh): Hi Hal. I’m here to talk about this year’s free agents.

Hal: They’re FREE? Great! I’ll take them all.

CC: (Another forced laugh) Hal, the team needs Cole.

Hal: Ah, Coal. Is it Christmas already? We probably have some old knee highs we can use as stockings.

CC: Gerrit Cole.

Hal: Refresh my memory.

CC: Best pitcher in baseball. Difference maker.

Hal: Baseball is the one with the little ball right? I’m more of a soccer guy.

CC: C’mon Hal. We were so close this year! This could put the Yankees over the top.

Hal: OK, what do you think he would cost? (Hal takes a big sip of champagne)

CC: 30-35 million A year.

Hal swallows. What? You thought he would do a spit take and waste the champagne? Martini and Rossi Asti Spumante doesn’t grow on trees!

Hal: I wouldn’t pay that for Nat King Cole and he’ll never blow out his arm. Chestnuts roasting on an open fire….

CC: Why not Hal? You’re rich beyond belief. You can’t take it with you. Do it for the fans. Do it for the city. Do it for your Dad.

Hal is taken aback. He thinks about it. He gets up from behind his desk.

Hal: CC, I like you, so I want to show you something…

He walks over to his wall vault and opens it. Inside is over 300 million dollars in tens and twenties. Even to a multi millionaire like CC it is impressive.

Hal: This is around half a billion dollars.

Lon springs up from his secret hiding place.

Lon: Actually its $347,376,422 and 29 cents.

He disappears.

Hal: I’ve got a bunch of vaults just like this. Do you know how I got all this money?

CC: From being a Steinbrenner?

Hal: From not being a “Steinbrenner”. This particular vault is filled with my “Mike Tauchman instead of Bryce Harper money.”

Hal stares at the cash transfixed. CC see sees that it’s hopeless.

CC: So, Wheeler then?

Hal: Oh yeah.

CC goes to leave and then turns around.

CC: Do you validate parking?

Hal: No.


Doug K.

JimmyEatsHotDogs said...

No Cole in NY ..... were all electric in the Bronx. It cheaper and besides signing Wheeler from Queens is perfect.

Anonymous said...





Anonymous said...

"Didn't El Chapo flash a grin?"

I think it was pure amazement that Altuve beat us again. What the hell happened to the law of averages? How is it possible that he can seemingly hit 4 for 5 against us in every game? I just shook my head in disbelief. I think Altuve is our daddy. I'm was thrilled to see Washington strike him out in the 9th inning of Game 7. Glad somebody can get him out.

I'm still hoping we sign Cole. If we do, hope he doesn't bust a nut and turn into Carl Pavano after four starts. Realistically, we'll be fortunate if we get Wheeler under the Christmas tree. There is a very good chance that we won't sign anyone this winter.

The Hammer of God

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