Tuesday, January 5, 2021

Yasiel Puig? Are you kidding me? Puieeze, puieeze, no.

The MLB rumor mill is a dog with seven heads, howling nonstop at the moon, and to stare into their gaping maws is to glare wide-eyed into the jaws of Hell.

This time of year, it will drive you to eating paint chips or shooting up an ex-wife's garage door. You try to ignore it, to block it out. You tell yourself: Don't click, old bean, don't go there, DON'T... you'll boost their algorithm, and they'll just print more crazy.  But they hook you.

Today's grist - damn you, o, internet!- claims the Yankees have expressed interest in the eternally wandering, free agent slugger Yasiel Puig, who is:

a) A corner outfielder, precisely what we don't need.

b) An expensive signing, when we're supposedly looking to cut.

c) A reckless soul who always seems to outstay his welcome.

So, naturally, our fully functioning Death Barge - currently with the one-man rotation - is expressing interest in Puig? Shoot me...

For the record, the last we saw of Puig was 2019, when he split the season between Cleveland and Cincinnati - hard to do, considering the intra-Ohio rivalry. (Just saying: The two franchises don't like each other.)  He hit 24 HRs, batted .267 and drove in 84 runs - (not that many, considering he played 149 games.) Last year, he came down with Covid-19 and missed the mini-season, which he would have played in Atlanta. This year - age 30 - he'll presumably seek a deal near the $9 million he'd been paid. And did I mention that he bats RH, like the entire Yankee lineup?

Listen: I get it that Team Cashman must do diligence on every free agent, regardless of how insane it looks from the street. And I suppose there could be a situation where Puig's value slides to an impossible-to-ignore bargain level: Maybe he'd take a one-year, "I-want-NY" contract, or maybe he gets caught driving 110 mph - again.  

They call Puig "the Wild Horse." There's a reason. Over the years, right or wrong, he's been the fulcrum point in a bunch of bench-clearing brawls. Once, he flipped Indian fans the bird. (Good for him!) He's twice has been charged with driving waaaaaay over the speed limit - upwards of 110 mph. Whoever signs him will be his fifth organization in eight years. Hmm.

If the Yankees sign Puig, it would signify Cashman's plans to nuke the current roster. It would ensure the trades of Clint Frazier and/or Miguel Andujar- maybe even Aaron Judge. We'd still have almost an entire righty lineup - full of sluggers who either hit home runs or fan. 

If we're bidding up Puig's price, I say, go for it. Signing him? Dear god... and please stop the howling.


Alphonso said...

Imagine: Puig and Stanton in the same outfield!!!!

One an only dream.

JimmyEatsHotDogs said...

You can thank his agent for this NY rumor..... if pigs have wings then believe Puig in pinstripes in 2021!

TheWinWarblist said...

I'm gonna have issues with this ...

Joe Formerlyof Brooklyn said...

Yes, the Yankees have many RH batters who "fan" -- creating a breeze.

This air circulation is crucial to combatting global warming. It's all part of the plan!

HoraceClarke66 said...

Arggh, Puig!

(Sorry, something about Puig always makes me think of a harpooner on a New Bedford whaler.)

Puig was another one of those Latin/Asian guys between 2010-2014—along with Chapman, Darvish, Jose Abreu, and Cespedes—who could have been had relatively cheap, and whose salaries would not have counted against the cap at the time.

Signing up any 2-3 of them would likely have got us into the playoffs every year, and maybe put us over the top for another championship or two before the rebuilding started around 2016. They were all young, fun, athletic, and the league hadn't caught up to them yet. We could have grabbed their best years, then discarded them when they got older and slower.

Instead, our own Capt. Ahab resolutely refused to go after any of them until Chappy got into the wife abusing business. Now that Puig is on the junk heap, I guess he's fair game, too.

Aargh, amazing how many ways that little twerp can find not to win.

Carl J. Weitz said...

You're close Horace and all around what his nickname would be if he signed with Yankees. But not quite there.
Of course, it would be Captain Puig. Watch him roll 2 ball bearings in one hand!