I believe I speak for the Yankiverse in saying:
We couldn't agree more!
Hey, the x-rays came back negative, right? Thus, there's absolutely no need to plunk Gunnar Henderson and/or Anthony Santander, merely to hear the plaintive, revenge-induced crack of their lower ribs.
Why, we're all one big happy family, the AL East, right? If the Yankees were to lose their captain and MVP for, say, a month, certainly, the Orioles would feel terrible about it. But there would be no reason for the Yankees to seek cold revenge.
Petty vengeance-seeking, as a means to enforcing on-field justice, belongs in the distant past. After all, boys will be boys. The last thing anyone wants would be for an O's hitter to be shaved, or maybe take a fastball hard in the wrist, as retribution for their pitchers last night repeatedly - accidentally, of course! - drilling our players.
I say this because - well, let's face it - tonight, the Yankees plan to start Gerrit Cole, without the luxury of six weeks of spring training. He'll be shaking off months of rust - a recipe for disaster, which - hopefully - will not be misinterpreted.
Let's all cobble together our best juju in the hope that Cole does not suffer an accidental bout of wildness when - say - Aubrey Rutschman steps to the plate. It would ruin the game for everyone if the Orioles were forced to face the unfortunate consequences of an errant pitch, a completely accidental happenstance that has no business finding acceptance in the modern game.
Cheers to Voldemort players today for bravely stepping up to pooh-pooh last night's pitching accidents, and thus extend an olive branch to their rivals. Let's all hope for a moratorium on "accidents." The last thing we'd want would be for O player to be felled by a 98-mph mistake. Certainly not during Hope Week!
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25 comments:
That's a nice plate glass window you have in your storefront. Be a shame if anything happened to it. Why don't I have a couple of my boys keep an eye on it for you?
Maybe a couple of the boys from Scranton. They wouldn't mind getting major league meal money for a five day suspension.
Hitting Gleyber and putting him out of action for a while would be addition by subtraction.
98 mile an hour pitch, perhaps. 99 or 100 - perhaps not.
We must not Judge Cole on the choices he makes tonight.
If ever there was a need for an "opener" with a round trip ticket from Scranton...
-a random extraction from the internets-
Worst City in America
stuckinbaltimore (1 review)
baltimore
Truly a filthy, over-priced, crime-ridden hole. Don't wander accidentally onto the wrong street, day or night, or you will be a victim of a crime. With the exception of the tourist traps, the city is horrendously dirty and the gangs and criminals run the streets. Thinking of moving here? Have a 6 figure job or you're stuck in 3rd world schools with students who attack teachers. Plan to lock yourselves in your car, hotel or home. Food is OK. I hear the nightlife is OK for those young and daring enough to go out.
Sounds like New York in the 70s and early 80s. Maybe I should move there.
@AA...I watched "The Wire". That's all I need to know about Baltimore...
As for retribution, me thinks that we need to do something akin to putting the goon on the ice in hockey...
The comatose I retired from had headquarters between Baltimore and d.c. (very close to NSA/APL) Plus one of its largest manufacturing facilities in the bay.
I think of Baltimore as a place with all of problems of NYC but very few of the positives.
Camden Yards is a good place to see a game, but don't wander too far away. Even Johns Hopkins is in a very dangerous neighborhood. 😳
Comatose = company, although a lot of employees would say no difference.
All you guys know what I would do if I wuz Prima Donna Cole tonite. Here's a chance to make yourself a real teammate. Will the Fat Lady hit the high notes? My best guess, probably not. Most Yankee fans didn't like Roger Clemens, but I'll say one thing for the dude: he'd hit those high notes. No doubt about it.
Wasn't just Judge, they also hit the Gleyber in almost the same exact kind of pitch. One too many "accidents" for one game. In my humble opinion.
They should sign CC Sabathia on a one day contract. He'd get it done.
Doug,
And get him good and liquored up pregame. 1st batter is a "mistake ". 2nd gets a warning. 3rd is ejection. Back to retirement/rehab.
Judge should seriously consider taking up a martial art and conditioning his hands. Lots of ways to do it. Bruce Lee used to pound his fists on a wooden stool. I started conditioning my hands when I was about 13. I used to hit everything: wood, brick, concrete, steel plates.
You know the oft-repeated humor scene in movies where the hero punches an extra in the face and then howls in pain whilst holding his own hand? Well, that does not happen to me. The Red Sox fan on the receiving end, though, will go down howling in pain. If he's still conscious, that is. I have hit too many walls, chairs, windshields, steel fire doors, and 300 lb heavy bags to hurt myself on a Red Sox noggin.
Jack London's short story "A Piece of Steak" has several mentions of bare knuckle fighters lowering their heads to take a punch on the top of the head, thereby breaking their attacker's knuckle. Evidently, those guys didn't do hand conditioning. If my opponent lowered his head to offer me the top of his head, it would be game over in 10 seconds time.
Joseph Tacopina, who did some criminal defense work for Trump, got busted at an airport with brass knuckles, which he claimed was a "paperweight". But real martial artists don't need brass knuckles. They have 'em already built in.
Hey . . . . . Hammer for Hands:
We spent a bunch of time over the past two seasons poking fun at Cole for being a moody man-child, often letting the simplest of things knock him off of his game.
Now with Rodon in the fold, Cole looks like the flagship of rock solid maturity.
Just coming back from the IL today - getting his first start in the bigs for 2024 - here's what I think Cole should do.
Get through Baltimore's order one time. Throw maybe 35 to 45 pitches. Snap a few breaking balls, hit mid-to upper 90's on the gun, just get some big time work in.
However - during those 35 - 45 pitches I'd buzz one or two of Baltimore's second tier players. Don't hit 'em. Don't even brush them back off the plate. Just an inside ball, near the upper chest down by their knees. Establish that your control isn't really all that sharp yet. Helps to be a bit wild outside as well.
Then the second time through - plunk one of their best. Not a head shot. Get 'em in the knee or the forearm. Make it hurt. And - get back to your game. If the teams received an earlier warning, and Cole and Boone can get tossed - it's all good.
Cole's got some work in, Boone's in the clubhouse and Ausmus manages the rest of the game.
Happiness
A Mr. V. Corleone writes:
"But I'm a suspicious man, and if some unlucky accident should befall an Oriole, if he should get hit in the head by a pitched ball, or if he should slip in the dugout, or if a ballboy should accidentally put some Icy Hot in his jock strap...well, that's just what happens in this great game of ours, and I would easily forgive it."
Nice one Hoss.
Well.
Played.
I confess my hands are generally soft and smooth. This is due to my parents sending me to college and my father being proud I didn't have to do physical work like he did. Good thing I haven't got into a fight since I was four or five. It's not something that's ever come up since.
If we all go to a game and things start to get rowdy, I'll be counting on Hammer to be a bad ass, because I sure won't be. I've been known to be an ass sometimes, but not a bad one.
My wife said one of the reasons she found me attractive was my nice hands and clean fingernails. Hey, whatever works.
AA for pitching coach. Hammer for designated 'hitter'.
@ JM, Let that mustard fly! I'll be happy to stand up to that angry 300 lb Red Sox fan bear for you! The bigger they are, the harder they fall. LOL LOL!
One of the percs of being a martial artist is that you don't need to hire a bodyguard. And you might be able to take a 100 mph fastball off your hand or wrist without even wincing.
People are always asking me about how to learn self defense. I always advise that the easiest way to do it is to carry a weapon, learn how to use it, practice every day, and be mentally prepared to use it in a self defense situation. (You have to know your federal, state, local laws for your chosen weapon. Here in NYC, carrying a large knife is a misdemeanor, but not a felony. In a particularly dangerous area, getting busted for a misdemeanor beats getting beaten and mugged, at least in my opinion.) The next thing to do is to improve your physical condition. That entails exercising every day or almost every day. These are usually out of the question for most people, who don't really want to change their lifestyle habits. But the good news is that you can always make small changes towards that long term goal. Even a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.
I’m not in favor of maiming ball players.
Only politicians.
I do try to exercise frequently, even if it's just walking, and I use the weight machines at the gym. Used to do free weights years ago, but aside from some dumbbells, not anymore.
Best thing is, I'm not out and about at night like I used to be in younger days. So if anything is happening out there I catch it on the news and the neighborhood blog. Not in person!
Like Hammer, I started conditioning my hands at about 12 or 13. Except mine were conditioned in another manner.
Carl: it’s all in the wrists.
Judge not in lineup tonight.
Hopes to play tomorrow
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