Things We Won’t Get a Chance to Yell at Boomer

Hey, look, everybody! It's Mister Perfect!
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One of the game’s great hurlers... of lunch!
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Hey, David, who checked you out of detox? Daryl Strawberry?
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What a beautiful day for a bar brawl! Let’s play two!
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Try to get your ERA down to your number of real teeth!
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Your stuff is filthy. Trouble is, so are you.
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Boomer, you own the plate. Especially when there’s fried chicken on it.
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Wow, I didn’t know they sold Depends that big!
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Hey, David, glare at your teammates. They love it.
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Hey, athlete! They sell LIGHT beer now!
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Is it true that you go crazy when fans shout things about your mom? What’s the issue? She can’t hear it. She’s dead.
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Have you thought of freezing her? The Red Sox do that.
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It’s good that you went to the National League! We loved to to watch you run!
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The Padres screwed you, Boomer! The law says they HAD to build you a wheelchair ramp to the mound!
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Don’t retire. They can cure back pain with breast reduction surgery!
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But if your boobs are smaller, they'll stop putting your picture in Easyriders magazine!
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Hey, Boomer, do you think Babe Ruth would appreciate YOU?I mean, have you ever WON a bar fight?
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When SOME people trip over their barstools, it's a wakeup call! For you it's a Web Gem!
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Some call it the DL! You call it "Painkiller Heaven!"
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Last call!
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Hey, METALLICA SUCKS! But Great White is looking for new fans.
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HEY, BOOOOOOMER, WE’LL MISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS YA!