Worried about overtaxing the franchise's crown jewel, the Yank braintrust has set tight restrictions on use of pitcher Brian Bruney.
They are:
1. After throwing more than five (5) pitches in an outing, Bruney must rest for at least one (1) year.
2. After throwing more than two (2) innings... oh, hell, there's no chance of that.
3. After using rest room, Bruney must wash hands before handling food.
4. When chasing women with teammates, Bruney must take the hog.
5. Traveling between cities, Bruney must ride outside plane.
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