Pathetic Yankee Doormat Gets Stopped on Again

Whatever you do, don't be a mid-level shrub for an organization of rich young jocks and underachieving millionaire offspring. This poor sap probably fed his children the leftover lunchmeat from Brian Bruney's girlfriend's mud-wrestling debut. The IRS nailed him. Don't expect sympathy from the Yankees. They doled out all they had for A-Rod.

NEW HAVEN, Conn. (AP) - New York Yankees traveling secretary David Szen pleaded guilty Tuesday in federal court to filing a false tax return and admitted he failed to report more than $50,000 in tips from players and coaches.

Szen, who took a paid leave of absence during the investigation, was fired Tuesday, said Howard Rubenstein, a spokesman for Yankees owner George Steinbrenner.

He faces six months in prison for failing to pay $10,000 in back taxes over five years.

The 56-year-old from Brookfield, whose reported 2005 income was $63,631, received tips ranging from a few hundred dollars to $10,000 for services provided to unidentified coaches and players during the baseball season.

Since the 1990s, the poor slob was booking flights, hotels and limos. He should have been supplying steroids. Then he'd have gotten immunity. Not to mention a book deal.