You told Congress you're sorry. You told the team you're sorry. The other day, Joe Torre called.
Dude… Don't. Be. Sorry.
Save your sorrow for the get-well card to Kevin Youkilis in the speech unit.
Tell Big Papi you’re sorry while he’s waiting for a kidney.
Apologize to Manny on the respirator.
Andy... darn it, there’s only one Binghamton, NY, and there’s only one you! God didn't make you a lefty so you could write apology notes and look for 666's on the heads of animated bears at Chucky Cheese.
It's time to live! Like Superman on red kryptonite! Like Spiderman with that black suit thing! Like Cheney with a gun! Grow a beard. Smoke Turkish cigarettes. Drink soda pop. Dance to jukebox music, download swimsuit photos, read "Naked Lunch."
We're not talking about joining Satan. We’re talking about Beers of the Month. We're talking bongwater rafting down the River of Cherry Garcia. You don't have to be sorry. You don't have to repent. YOU DON'T HAVE TO FEEL BAD.
Really... because... Andy-baby...
.
What good is sitting... alone in your room...
Come hear the music... plaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay...
Come hear the music... plaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay... 
Life is a cabaret, Old Chum-
Come to the Cabaret...
Andy, we love ya. Now get out there and pitch.
Binghamton! Harpur College. Grateful Dead 1970. Whoah!
ReplyDeleteYoukilis should be banned for glueing that bathtub brush to his chin to distract pitchers.
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