Saturday, February 16, 2008

The Roger Clemens Made-for-TV Movie

HOW IT WENT:

Mr. Barnett: This is a deposition in the committee’s investigation into the illegal use of performance-enhancing drugs in Major League Baseball. And would you please state your name for the record?

Mr. Clemens: William Roger Clemens.

Mr. Barnett: The person transcribing the interview is a House reporter and notary public authorized to administer oaths, and the reporter will now put you under oath.

[Witness sworn.]

FINAL SHOOTING SCRIPT:

Mr. Barnett: Mr. Clemens, you realize that what you say here today could bring about many things. Today could decide whether your fans cheer you on or turn aside as you walk by. Today will be a test of the people closest to you, the people who believe in you and will have the power to bring you closer to the people who really matter -- your fans, your family...hell, even an estranged childhood friend. All of us want to believe you, Mr. Clemens. But more importantly, we want to believe IN you. Yes, this is a deposition in the committee’s investigation into the illegal use of performance-enhancing drugs in Major League Baseball. But what we are here for is to let you speak for yourself in what is perhaps a fight for your very life. And would you please state your name for the record?

Mr. Clemens: William Roger Clemens.

Mr. Barnett: (whispers) Swear, Mr. Clemens, swear.

As the House reporter lifts the Bible to Clemens, his eyes gaze up toward the gallery where his childhood friend, MACKY, sits gazing down at him, nodding his head ever so slightly.

2 comments:

  1. The lead is played by Sylvester Stallone (old Roger) and Cate Blanchet (young Roger).

    ReplyDelete
  2. Wilford Brimley has to be in this movie, too. Maybe he can play Rep. Foxx?

    ReplyDelete

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