Welcome to the YES Network version of "Whose Line Is It Anyway?" - the show where everything is made up and the points don't matter. That's right, the points don't matter - just like A-Rod's talent once the post-season starts.
Our first game is the hoedown, featuring players in the mix at first base for the Yanks. We have more than the usual four performers, but it still doesn't include everyone. Hell, the show's only a half-hour.
Hit the music ...
I'm clean-shaven Johnny, I thought when I came here
I'd have a candy bar named after me within a year;
Well, my average caused some Snickers, and though I kept my PayDay,
My playing time was Zero, once Joe chose the Melky Way
My name's Eric Duncan, anyone remember me?
I was the team's top draft pick way back in 2003.
I thought I'd be a star by now, with a World Series ring,
But I just applied for a job at the Scranton Burger King
I'm Lane, And I'm Ensberg, and we're the Houston twins,
Just put us in the lineup and we'll help you get some wins.
Check our stats from last year, you'll see we did mighty fine.
We combined for 20 home runs and we batted .209!
Hey, I'm Shelley Duncan, I'm here to make my case
That I should be the starter for the team out at first base
But if I don't win that job this spring, well that's OK by me
My forearm smash will land me in the WWE.
It's me, Dougie Mientkiewicz, I thought that I'd be back.
But I landed down in Pittsburgh on a different career track.
When A-Rod negotiated, he did it without Scott
And forgot the clause that guaranteed I'd get a roster spot
Hi, my name is Wilson, I was last year's new guy.
I was nervous when I came, 'cause I am kinda shy.
But my new teammates were all great, they made me feel at home;
Jason even gave me some of his Oxandrolone
I'm Jason, here to respond to what Wilson had to say,
But I can't do it, 'cause my lawyer said "No way."
The one thing I can tell you, although you may want more,
Is that I'm truly, deeply sorry ... just please don't ask what for
have you ever felt as if someone attached your brain to a computer and downloaded information you weren't suppose to have?
ReplyDeleteI just woke up from a sleep where the following list was played over and over in my brain...
1. the catholic church
2. roosters
3. a buch of posing cluckers
over and over.. I woke myself up, and right before I did the words Bill Gates came into my head.
I went to the internet and typed in "a bunch of Posing cluckers and the baseball poem from your website came up..
Dear anonymous,
ReplyDeleteThank you for thinking of us.
Due to the large volume of letters we receive, we cannot respond to each message. But we read each and every one, and someday, if time permits, we hope to be able to write you and thank you for your interest in IT IS HIGH.
Until then,
All the best