What happens when Jeet grows the pornomustache?

Thus far, Jason Giambi, Johnny Damon have grown muststaches, and Joe Girardi is said to be attempting one.

This is the break we've waited for -- that Walter Matthau rallying the Bad News Bears moment, that explosion of hope moment when Susyn Waldman enters the booth with a soup-strainer.

They will say of the 2008 Yankees: They grew staches and turned it around.

BUT... it comes down to the Captain. Can the most iconic face New York sports suddenly change?

And what... it hurts to think, after all Jeet has done for us... what if he can't grow a mustache?

Dear God, what if follicles simply do not obey his commands? He might be force into a non-PC look.

Or one that screams, "Bases! We don't need no stinkin' bases!"

Maybe he will become the Teacher, counseling Robbie Cano: "Grasshopper, you must face down the bunt, or the bunt will face down you."

Start growing, Jeet. Get to it.