Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Yankweh, the God of Yankees, Is Playing with Our Dreams


Does Yankweh, the God of Yankeedom, hear our prayers?

Goddammit, He doth!

Here's proof: The Gammonites now say we might add the mighty Barry Bonds to our already Hummerlike-efficient DH rotation!

Barry -- 40something, 240something and presumably free of additives -- can buttress our DH starters while we wait for Hideki to rehab his knee, Shelley to re-conquer Scranton, Damon to heal his shoulder, and Jesus Montero to learn algebra.

This could cometh on the heels of landing power forward Richie Sexon -- currently the largest DH trout flippering around, unhooked, in the free-agent lagoon.

If we sign Richie and Barry -- I know, I know, it's speculation, but what joy doth life bring if we cannot fantasize! -- here is our NEWLY REVISED PLAYOFF DH ROTATION.
(In other words, forget the previous posting. That was written by a doubter. That doubter no longer exists. I AM A TRANSFORMED BLOGGER. I HAVE SEEN THE EYE OF YANKWEH.)

PLAYOFF ROTATION:

Game One: Giambi.
Game Two: Bonds.
Game Three: Posada.
Game Four (if necessary): Sexon.
Game Five (hard to believe it could be necessary, but just in case:) Damon.

We shall presenteth the greatest Yankee rotation since the powerhouse 1980s, when we trotted out Ron Kittle, John Mayberry, Ron Hassey, Danny Tartabull, Mel Hall, et al.
Imagine: A lineup where every player is a designated hitter!

Wait a minute. What am I saying. This is FAR GREATER than the 1980s. Because right now, we're knee deep in the 08 Wild Card Derby. Think about it: How many teams can add a future State of California Correctional System Hall of Famer to their lineup? Only one.

Yankweh, You rocketh.
Wait a minute... Rocketh? Rocket? ARE YOU THINKING WHAT I'M THINKING?

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