FLASH: FLASH: FLASH:
TINSELTOWN, U.S.A. _ A little birdie tells this reporter that superstar funnyman Pauly Shore has nabbed movie rights to the 2008 Yankees and will start production mucho-pronto on "Damned and Damneder," a hillarious comedy about a bunch of millionaire misfits who couldn't hit the ground with their mitts, but yet still manage to come in third!
Pauly teams with rubberface maestro Jim Carey, as "Melky and Robbie," two bumbling dishwashers who, after marked for death by drug kingpin Jamie Kennedy, hide out on a ballclub, where they happen to be identical twins with a pair of Yankees. After they switch roles with the players, the laughs roll out like an infield tarp during a 30-minute rain delay.
But -- hey, everybody, get this -- the key to this movie is the amazing acting stretch by Meryl Streep, who has agreed to play the team shortstop and captain. Everybody knew Oscar-body Meryl can sing, dance and perform croak scenes like the best of them, but who knew she could also bat .280!
"It's uncanny how she's already got the range down," a source tells our scribe network. "There's no doubt about it. Meryl Streep's got an edge."
Look for this one to produce Oscar nominations like pop-ups with runners in scoring position with less than two out.
Oh, and did I mention: Billy Crystal plays himself!
Will Angelina Jolie play the part of A-Rod's blonde stripper?
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