Monday, September 1, 2008

Killer Kowalski Wrestles Death


KK: Sissy! Fool! Geek! You can't beat me! You're weak! You smell! I will crush you like I crushed Gorilla Monsoon on July 16 in the Ashtabula War Memorial! I will bite you in half, like I bit off the ear of Yukon Eric! I will dropkick you, like I drop-kicked Bruno Sanmartino!

Death: Let's go!

KK: C'mon. What do you want, pencilneck? A petunia? High heels? Where'd you buy that robe? Gap for Goths? Who does your makeup? Helen Keller?

Death: I want your hand.

KK: My hand? Sure, cheese head. How about... this!

Death: Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhgh.

KK: Want a forearm shiv?

Death: Uhhhhhhhgh.

KK: How about a nice step-over toe-hold!

Death: Owwww-

KK: Have you ever met my boot?

Death: Ummhpgh.

KK: One, two, three... DONE.

Death: Uncle! I QUIT. OK... you win... can I make an offer.

KK: Yeah, what?

Death: You can live forever. But let me have Walter Spulnik.

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