Yanks, in Fierce Contract Stretch Drive, Slash Ray Lead to 10

Open Letter to the Yankiverse

Dear Madam or Sir,

Turns out, all we needed to amp-up our hitters was an old-fashioned September contract drive.

Look at Robbie "Alomar" Cano. His average has risen to almost touch .270! Why, if Mr. Backhand Flip can go on a two-week tear and hoist his numbers up to .285, historians won't even know he singlehandedly tanked this team.

And what about the Wallflower, Bobby Abreu! Jeepers, he's somewhere around ninth in the league in RBIs. Let that sink in. He's batting behind Johnny Damon and Derek Jeter, in front of ARod, and he's nineth in the league in RBIs. He's batting .301, angling for another three-year payout.

Wait a minute. Speak of the devil: Did you see Arod last night: Only three for four with a homerun! He's batting .315. He's sure making up for those -- uhm -- glitches earlier in the season, when we had a chance.

And, of course, Jason Giambi.

Hey, maybe they're clutch hitters, after all.

They're hitting when it counts... for them.

OK, enough sarcasm. To honor the GOP Convention, let's get to the red meat:

If this team has one iota of integrity, it'll kick around in September the way it's done all year, rather than put on some dramatic, too-little, too-late grandstanding push. Of course, some Yank fans say we must always back our troops, we must be loyal wives, and we can't quit on our team. Those people are fools. This team has been such a profound, continuing disappointment -- from top to bottom -- that we should have predicted a big push now -- as soon as the pressure is actually off, because it's too late to matter. They are the baseball equivalents of half-go heros, of pencilneck drunks being dragged out of bar fights yelling, "Lemmie at him!" And if there is one thing to look forward to, it is the dismantling of this choke-necked bunch that Little Boy Steinbrenner has promised.

Sorry to say this. The uniform and logo induce automatic love. But in the end, every team has to earn its fans. This team failed us long ago.

Every home run now, every 4-for-5 night -- they're numbers for an arbitration hearing. Seriously: We're supposed to cheer?