McCain Accuses Obama of Practicing Eloquence

HOFSTRA _ In his sharpest attack yet, Presidential candidate John McCain last night denounced opponent Barack Obama for the secret use of eloquence, a tactic prohibited in recent elections.


McCain, who has refused to use eloquence, twice charged Obama with use of big words and complex sentences, an outlaw strategy designed to confuse Joe the Plumber. (pictured, below)

"My friends, I could be goddam eloquent, if I wanted to," McCain said, flashing his trademark jack-o-lantern grin. "But I'm talking to Joe now. Joe, when you squat down and bend over to lube a flange, do you want a president who is quoting Rod McEwen or that guy who wrote MacArthur Park? Hell, no. You don't want no fukinay crap. And as president, that's going to be my motto: No eloquenciation whatever. My opponent, he pals around with eloquents. That's sick."