Theo Authorizes Distribution of World Series Tickets to Red Sox Players After Trashing Tampa

Associated Press; Boston, Ma. 10/16/08

At an impromptu press event, held at The Old North Church this morning, Theo Epstein announced that he was giving tickets to each Boston player for the first two games of the 2008 World Series vs. the Phillies.

Theo was so taken by the "heart and soul" rally of his team last night against "this group of underpaid, no-name rookies," that he threw caution to the wind, and had the tickets hand delivered to each player.

" We undressed the Yankees, down 3-0, a few years back, so this comeback over Tampa is no big deal," said an ebullient Theo.

" We said all along that Tampa, while feisty and brimming with young talent, would collapse under the pressure. I give them credit for hanging in there to win the Division, but they are toast now. You can stick a fork in them.

I am more confident that I will see another tea party in Boston harbor by the weekend than I am that Tampa can overcome the mental, emotional, and psychic collapse of confidence we laid on them last night."

It worked for Jerry Jones. Let's hope it works for Theo.