Why We Should Root for Tampa

It's basically simple:

1. Winning the World Series is tough. Defending it is tougher. Let them win this year, and they'll fall apart next year.

2. With World Series rings on their fingers, the young Rays will fall more quickly to our vast secret, undercover network of Yankee agents, syncopaths, bartenders, drug dealers and hookers.

3. By winning this year, they'll have no unfulfilled mission next year.

4. By losing, Philadephia will stay hungry and be more inclined to whip on the Mets.

5. Don Zimmer. Hey... God bless him.

6. A Rays championship will serve as a hot poker up the butt of Yankee management, which is headquartered in Tampa. That's a fun image: A hot poker up the butt of Yankee management. Yes, it's fun. A hot poker up the butt of Yankee management. Mm-mm. ONE MORE TIME: A HOT POKER UP THE BUTT OF YANKEE MANAGEMENT.

7. Tampa did our dirty work. They beat the Redsocks.