Open Letter to Hank Steinbrenner:
Dear Madam or Sir,
Our pal, Andy Pettitte, reportedly wants to pitch in 2009.
We say, "Thank the Lord, and sign him!"
Andy is an all-time great Yank, an all-time great man, an all-time great all-time great -- and for those reasons, Mister Moneybags, you should flash the leather of your famous wallet and make cash fly like farts at a Shriner's Convention.
But... the team must not forget -- and nor should Andy -- that after July, our great Avenger of Christ was regularly getting wailed on like a rented mule.
Somewhere in prayer group, you and Andy must reach one agreement:
If Andy starts getting whacked, for the sake of his name, his team and his God, his gotta walk the Hell away.
He's gotta do what his buddy, whazzizname? -- oh, you know, the prince of pepjuice -- had such a hard time doing.
He's gotta retire: Be remembered for the great pitcher he's been, not for the mediocre one he might become.
Do the deal. In Andy we trust.
But have that talk...
I agree. They should put a clause in his contract that if he's bad, the Yankees can opt out - immediately.
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