Wednesday, December 10, 2008

In Shocking Development, Redsock Fans Whine About Sabathia Signing


The world was stunned Wednesday by reports that members of the Redsock Nation had grown upset to the point of uttering bitter, Gammonseque complaints about fairness, following the Yankee signing of CC Sabathia.

Throughout New England, Redsock fraternity brothers were said to be moaning about the excessive amounts of money spent on baseball players these days. Their bleating cast a pall upon celebrations of Boston's recent signing of a 22-year-old Japanese pitcher, successfully betraying all past agreements by other U.S. teams.

Across Massachusetts, Redsock fans griped righteously about the lack of justice in the world, as their team valiantly sought to chistle its captain, Jason Varitek, out of a three-year deal.
One Redsock player, however, spoke defiantly about the Yankee move.

"As far as I'm concerned, Sabathia is nothing but a fat slob," firstbaseman Kevin Youkilis announced. "I bet he couldn't hit me in the head with a fastball if he tried."

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