Yankeetorial: The Redsocks Say They're "Not a Factor" with Teixiera... And They NEVER Lie, Right?

To: Yankiverse
From: Department of Infinite Truth Operations
Subject: Redsock Lies

Dear Madam or Sir,

By now, we should know never to trust a filthy Redsock.

Karim Garcia turned his back on a rake-wielding Fenway bullpen thug. He paid the price.

Don Zimmer believed Pedro Martinez would fight fair. He was wrong.

The Japanese trusted Boston not to sign baseball players before draft-age eligibiilty. Too bad for them.

Mo Vaughn put it this way: "To be lied to for all these years is something that is probably tough to take for the fans of New England."

Now, they claim they will not chase Mark Teixiera.

They are lying. They opening their mouths, looking us in the eyes, and telling falsehoods, the likes of which would make Condoleezza Rice return her shiny jackboots to Bloomingdales.

They must learn a life lesson.

Hal, Hank, Brian... Sign Mark Teixiera. We must bury them now. We must offer $180 million. Put the cash on the barrelhead. Don't let them get Teixiera for anything less than $200 million. In the last 10 years, they've made it a sport to bid up the price of our players, cackling in private while screaming in public about how much we overpaid.

Now, we're going to let them have the best free agent in baseball... without bidding?

And then we chase Manny?

No. No. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Hal, Hank, Brian... LISTEN!!!... They're playing you like a violin! Don't let them. Sign Teixiera! This is your Johan Santana moment. This is the deal you will spend the next 10 months explaining. Bury them. Make Teixiera an offer. WIN THE 2009 PENNANT NOW. It will not be cheaper at the trading deadline.