BAGHDAD _ Looking to bolster their bullpen, the Yankees have turned to emerging Iraqi right-hander Muntazer "Size 10" al-Zaidi, who auditioned before major league scouts Sunday.
"He throws a 92-mile an hour shoe, and he's not afraid to move a batter off the podium," one scout said, speaking anonymously due to death threats against his family. "Also, he throws the loaferball, which few American hitters see.
"Major league hitters are used to nasty stuff, but this guy is totally filthy. I mean, his slider gives off the aroma of a sweatsock worn for three straight weeks. Guys don't mind getting dusted, but not by Dr. Scholls."
Sources said Brian Cashman, Joe Girardi and Reggie Jackson flew to Iraq early Monday in hopes of wooing the right-hander, who is said to prefer Northern Afghanistan. One concern is lingering shoulder problems that stem from a former kidnapping.
To be prudent, the Yanks are expected to demand a full medical physical, which would include advanced interrogation techniques, such as waterboarding, and long conversations with Hank Steinbrenner.
"We like that he throws at the head," a scout said. "That helps against Boston."
Could it...could it be? It is! It's the second coming of Roger Roid Rage Clemens! Suzyn Waldman will be so happy when she finds out...
ReplyDeleteI think his nickname sh be "Kiss Off Dog!"
ReplyDeleteOr maybe "Dog-Rod".
LMFAO...
ReplyDeleteThe best part of that clip is the guy at the Podium next to Bush...
That first shoe flies over Bush as he ducks (nice move for an old guy, by the way), and the guy next to Bush doesn't even flinch...
Duque--- this douchebag is stealin' yo' shizzle:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.borowitzreport.com/article.aspx?ID=6969
Wow. Good company.
ReplyDeleteI'm a fan of AB.
I would say its easily parallel thinking. That douchebag is from Ohio according to wiki but he went to college in Mass. Im pretty sure you get a free pre-frayed hanging socks cap with every 12 credits up there.
ReplyDeleteThat Boston line is pretty easy too but still kinda disturbing.