Rumors are sweeping the NYC Catholic School system that his " Eminence " has agreed to throw out the first pitch at the New Yankee Palace, on opening day.
In Vatican City, there is a story of the Smoker throwing fastballs and curves to a lineup of visiting baseball fans from all nations. Each "Participant " pays $2500 Euros for a
"Papal glove,"and receives a single pitch from his Holiness.
For another $3500, that ball will be dipped in incense and sprinkled with water from a mechanical holy tub.
The ultimate Papal package has the now blessed ball signed by His Holiness, using the invisible ink and pen set bestowed on the Great One by the Greater One.
According to undocumented sources, His Eminence has had some trouble with his natural overhead delivery, given the length and layers of his Vestral Garments. Also, his move to first base is reminiscent of Sidney Ponson.
Nonetheless, Yankee tailors are working on a pinstripe version of the Papal Robes for opening day.
The makers of Marlboro are said to have offered $40 million for product placement, if the designated first pitcher will willingly flash that famous box of weeds.
Let's see the Red Sox top that.
These promotions sound awesome. Can I pay via... PayPal? HIYO!
ReplyDeleteFor some reason, I associate the Pope with smoking Salems.
ReplyDeleteEl Duque,
ReplyDeleteThe witch trials of Salem? The Anti-Christs of Massachusetts?
Smoking salems is not as manly as smoking Marlboros. And who needs a more manly brand than a guy in gold lame robes with sequins, floral designs, pointy shoes and lots of gold bling?