Reality Bites - Bank of America Bails on Naming Rights to Yankee Palace

Following several years of management incompetence, financial idiocy, flat-out thievery, and wholesale leadership failure ( about 95% of the Bank's market value has been trashed), The Bank Of America's Ken ( Doll ) Lewis has decided to "pull the plug " on a $400-$500 million deal for signage display rights at the New Yankee stadium.

This should save Ken Doll's bonus for another season, even as he strives to harm America's number one pastime and MLB's only team of glory and hope in this country.

But the hard reality we and the Steinbrenner's must now all face is that this " can't miss" marketing opportunity is again open to all comers. Letters of solicitation to GM, Ford and Chrysler have, according to rumor, been returned to Brian Cashman unopened. No word has yet come from letters sent to the Sultan of Dubai.

Consequently, and in the spirit of " can-do" American entrepreneurialism, I have personally re-opened the bidding at $400 per year for 10 years if they will name the stadium after me.

I, of course, will have governance over the use and design of the Alphonso name and brand.

And, as you may know, signage rights extend to the branding of all beer cups used at the Stadium and at minor league, Yankee-affiliated ballparks.

If I am successful in this pre-emptive strike, therefore, I pledge to you that all beer cups and their contents will be handed out free to Yankee fans at every game.

I am thinking that, " Alphonso's Park, " might just do the trick ( note Yankee blue ).

Legitimate financial bids and alternative naming ideas may be sent, by registered letter, to my home address:

Alphonso

Southwest corner stool ( next to the pickled eggs )

c/o Rose's Cantina

Dirt Road Field # 3

Queretaro, Mexico