Ode to Nick Swisher

Let's cheer the Yank who's called Nick Swisher!
Best new star since the Knicks' got Dave DeBusschere.
You know he will not wilt in big games and under pressure,
Like the tits on the nanny in a show that stars Fran Drescher.

When Nick's in our order, our line-up is much richer.
He's a king with the bat and a scourge to the pitcher.
Our whole sport would be much better if this guy was named commiss'er.
Like the princess in that movie, the one played by Carrie Fisher.