What to do about Wang? Simple. Injure him.

The papers keep claiming the Yankees have only four options:

1. Trade Wang.
2. Release Wang.
3. Run Wang back out there.
4. Bullpen Wang.

This is ridiculous. Absolutely ridiculous. In fact, The Times this morning even claims the Yankees won't put Wang on the DL, because Girardi recently said he's not hurt. WTF? Girardi says everybody is not hurt. Girardi would claim Mark Fidrych was still in the rotation.

The trumped up injury is one of the greatest traditions of the Billy Connors Rehab Center in Tampa. We can't say he's hurt? Screw that. He's got PTSD. Good grief, we've got PTSD, just from watching him.

Here's what the Yankees need to do. Have him clutch his shoulder in practice, walk off the mound, say he's not feeling well, send him to Tampa. What's MLB going to do? Appoint a Mitchell Commission?

Once in Tampa, ensconced on a barstool with Billy Connor, Chien-Ming will hear directly from the Master himself at least 100 farmer's daughter jokes translated into Chinese, plus learn the art of pivoting a $20 bill into a stripper's panties with your teeth. That's the kind of life-lesson that will get him back on the mound, throwing sinkers.

In return, he can tell Billy the truth about Chinese firedrills.

Problem solved. Now, can we get back to figuring out how to demolish the new stadium.