Christian Garcia, the mythical, long-awaited lost phenom of the Yankisphere, is pitching again.
For now, anyway.
Over the years, various bloggers have gushed so blatheringly stupidly about Garcia's arm that it's likely to end up someday on the wall of the Yankee Steakhouse, bronzed and autographed by Sam Milletello, Ed Yarnell and Brien Taylor. They put him not only above Hughes and Chamberlain, but even Betances and Brackman! the living symbols of how mankind might evolve if we just eat enough mercury and lead-based paint chips.
They loved Garcia, even though he didn't really exist. He was merely a video game avatar in a Yankee cap, who occasionally appeared on some minor league team's disabled list. At times, he's had "an attitude," probably gained by reading blogs. He's also had arm issues. But he was always, always, always, our great pure arm, even if he was using it less to pitch than pleasure himself.
Well, he's back from the DL. Again. And hey... as Jack Skellington would say, "What's this?"
Nobody's doing anything against him.
Wait: I got an idea.
Let's rev up the old "Christian-Garcia-is-gonna-be-great!" routines, so he can read about himself and get hurt again.
A few more like this, and he could be a legend in Moosic.
You must mean Christian Parker.
ReplyDeleteI never heard of this ex-surgery, ex-psychiatric hospital patient, ex-felon.
I think he is not pitching for the Yankees but for the date farmers in South Mexico.
Under an assumed name.
"Christian Garcia? Like what else could he be; Hebrew Garcia? Hindu Garcia?
Are you sure this guy isn't that alcoholic outfielder whose first name was Kim?
In any case, don't get exercised.
I promise you; he is a bum.