Sites across the Yankisphere Saturday struggled to cope with the impending loss of David Ortiz as a 24/7 hot-button punch line for inflicting pain upon the troubled Redsock Nation. "Pappy won't be around much longer," said an emotionally choked Alphonso. "We must treasure him... while we have him."Alphonso and other IT IS HIGH bloggers (pictured right) Friday placed their goodhearted chum's XXXKL jersey in a special lead-lined museum vault beneath the website's headquarters on the shore of Onondaga Lake.
Early, Pappy had gone 0-for-4, leaving four Boston baserunners, and jeeeeust missing several big hits that could have turned the game around. Yet it provided no joy to Yank fans.
"It's not the same," Alphonso said. "There's nothing funny about it. We're watching the downfall of a big man. Big Pappy. How can anyone revel in such pain? What manner of human dog rejoices in the suffering of another fellow traveler? I ask you, how can anyone celebrate this man's collapse and utter demise?"
I want him to be their big pinch hitter off the bench (after they finally bench him for good at the all-star break).
ReplyDeleteThat way he comes up in important situations and provides the much needed strike out/pop-up off the bench.
Did somebody say punchline?
ReplyDeleteTake my broken down DH...
Please.