Beloved Redsock icon Big "David Ortiz" Papi wants to have his beautiful Maybeline eyes inspected.
Soon, feel-good designer eyeware will let B-Pap trade high pop-ups for high fashion. What's in store?
Opposing pitchers will fear David's no-nonsense approach to the plate when sporting the ultra-sleek "Police" model.
With the game on the line, David can break the tension with the whimsical "Storm."
All work and no play makes David a dull slugger. When facing a tough pitcher, our favorite Redsock might serve up his own "change of pace," with the exciting "Guess!"
"Ey, there, yah bloke!" In the pinch, David might whisk us back to jolly old England and the always in-style look of Carnaby Street, with a set of playful, oversized "Morgans."
Of course, whatever he's wearing on his head, you can bet the accessories will match his famous blouse.
Its even funnier that the lone highlight on the Red Sawks homepage is a Big Flah-pi (1) RBI single. WHOOPI!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteBut it was a *hard* single to right.
ReplyDeleteThe latest excuse for the Big One from Boston is that he may have lied about his age.
ReplyDeleteLike several Latin players the Yankees have signed, there are no birth certificates, no registrations of birth in county records, no honest data in any form.
Biggy could be 47, not 33.
Where's the Sarah Palin model? I think he'd look good in those.
ReplyDelete