Where's My Son Alphonso ?

I haven't heard from him in 5 days.

He hates the Governor of South Carolina, so I don't think he went with him on that "walk about" on the Appalachian trail.

I know he has been dismayed by the lifeless play of the Yankees and, usually when that happens, he goes back to Mexico and drinks himself into a stupor.

But I called the Cantina and they haven't seen him since we lost 3 to the fucking Red Sock up in that city in Massachusetts.

I know he has been working on a new business idea; Alphonso feels there is a natural market for cheeseburgers in a can.  

He travels so much by bus, he thinks it could be a convenient, value product sold at bus stations across the country and in Mexican small towns. So he may be meeting with some cattle ranchers in Wisconsin.

I know he already has a deal with Sidney Ponson to be featured on the can label.

But then again, Alphonso has never really had much of a head for business.

H sent me an email a week ago raving about Austin Jackson ( he used to think AJ was a former President from Texas ).  He said that Kirby Puckett hit no home runs in 583 at bats as a rookie for the Twins in 1984.

We all know that changed pretty quick.

But Alphonso's reasoning is always that sharp;  he once asked me if Woody Woodpecker had ever had a son.

I think he was doing a crossword.