Kei Igawa becomes first human being to be twice elected IIH YANKEE EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH

"Mr. Watson, come here; I want to see you...."

So spake Alexander Graham Bell (right) in history's first conversation through the remarkable device that we now know of as the leash. These immortal words will live forever, as immortal words do, along with the news today that IIH voters have for the first time elected a two-time YANKEE EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH.

CONGRATULATIONS, KEI IGAWA, FIRST MAN TO DO THE IMPOSSIBLE...

JULY YANKEE EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH.

The question:

What impact will this selection have on the all-time most winningest pitcher in Scranton-Wilkes Barre, Pa., history... and the Yankiverse?

For those of you who are novices to the scientific field of Yankeeology, the IIH Yankee of the Month curse -- No. 35 on talk show host Glen Beck's tenets of taking back America -- is currently being studied by the Pentagon for weapon potential. ("Ladies and gentlemen, meet the December Yankee Employee of the Month, Kim Il Jong!")

Ever since Phil Hughes won the honor and went 0 for 2008, top Yankeeologists have attempted to identify, measure and cut deals with whatever dark forces are unleashed when a human being is named Yankee Employee of the Month. The curse has nearly destroyed careers (Shelley Duncan, Chien-Ming Wang, Sidney Ponson) and bruised the reputations of great men and women (Carl Pavano, Jason Zillo.)

Igawa (pictured above in the protective garb worn to ward off negative juju) is the first Yankee Employeenaut... going to a place never before seen by man.

We do not know what will happen next.

But yesterday, Kei threw five-plus innings
and gave up only one earned run!