Hurricane vs. Wildfire?

In the groundbreaking 1962 art film, "King Kong vs. Godzilla," the ever-suffering Japanese faced a new round of destruction from the claws and atomic breath of the giant Lizard of Destruction, when, suddenly, an old nemesis from New York's black-and-white past arrived on the scene.

The result: a monster to monster battle refought to the present day by pro wrestlers, Power Rangers, Transformers, cartoons, reality TV characters and talk show hosts.

Now, we might see that historic plot play out in California, where the claws and atomic breath of wildfires threaten the Greater Los Angeles area, leaving authorities helpless and calling for evacuations until -- what's that on the radar? It's Hurricane Jimena, the hairy Cat 4 leviathan of air and water (key word: water) rising from the mysterious depths of Mexico. It's drawing a bead on the California coast, setting up a confrontation of titans!

I recognize this is extreme bad taste to joke about death and destruction, and I hope anybody in California who reads this loses nothing... except maybe a analog-to-digital TV converter, because the piece of crap things don't work anyway.

But face it: You're all thinking the same thing.

Perfect time for an earthquake!