Tuesday, November 17, 2009

As the signing period begins, let us recall the brilliant Theo Epstein strategy of 2009


According to our critics, it's time to buy the next World Championship.

But before Cash and the Barrelheads grab the checkbook, let's recall the formula for success engineered last Thanksgiving by the legendary futures trader and Cialis-crackhead John W. Henry, and his gorilla-suited sidekick, Theo Epstein.

The strategy: LET'S STEAL BARGAINS.

At the flea market, they found Brad Penny, John Smoltz, Rocco Baldelli, Takashi Saito.

And how did the critics react?

"... Brilliant!... bravo, Mr. Epstein!... the feel good team for 2009!... Executive of the year, sir, Oscar!"

Look, we will never tell Brian Cashman what to do. (Unless he's messing up, in which case, it is our blood obligation to save the team with sound advice.) But last winter, the moral opinionators of baseball condemned the Yankees for spending their money wisely, and they glorified the Redsocks for going to the casino and playing the slots.

There is a fascination -- no, intoxication -- with getting something for nothing. It's great to visit the garage sale and bring home Brian Bruney. They help a team. They do not win the pennant.

Be thankful Boston didn't take its Casino Money -- for Penny, Smoltz, et al -- and put it down on AJ Burnett. They just might be World Champions.

There is one guy out there, solid as a rock, who fits our team. John Lackey. SIGN JOHN LACKEY, AND WE WIN THE 2010 PENNANT.
They'll say we're buying the pennant. Let's not let them down.
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11 comments:

  1. Rob A from BBDNovember 17, 2009 at 8:06 AM

    Don't forget Mark Kotsay. At one point last year I was ganged up upon on a message board for even suggesting that the move would backfire and the Yankees had made the smarter choices. How stupid people can be sometimes. How many games did they really expect Penny and Smoltz to win?

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  2. dadlakNovember 17, 2009 at 8:52 AM

    At one point last off-season, I called the Red Sox the "Fenway Park Rehabilitation Center" and noted that Epstein, like someone who takes in wounded animals, must have felt empty after Curt Schilling "retired" and needed to fill the gap with the likes of Smoltz and Penny.

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  3. AnonymousNovember 17, 2009 at 9:57 AM

    SO mAny factors figure into a team winning the WS.Most think it's money,it's not,and accounts for only about only 15-30%!!

    -Here's some of the factors involved in a winning formula.
    ------------------------------
    1.A very talented front office.
    2.Smart trades.
    3.Intelligent drafting.
    4.A farm system that develops
    players.
    5.Team chemistry.
    6.Players staying healthy.
    7.luck.


    So tired of money being the only argument for winning!!

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  4. Kenny PhelpsNovember 17, 2009 at 11:49 AM

    You also forgot, Rocco "I can only play once a week" Baldelli.

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  5. AnonymousNovember 17, 2009 at 11:53 AM

    I don't know...Lackey? He kindda has a Pavano, Randy Johnson, Kevin Brown feel to him.

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  6. dadlakNovember 17, 2009 at 1:55 PM

    Yes, Kenny...Rocco fits the Fenway Rehab model perfectly. Why get a cat with four legs when there's a perfectly adorable one with three legs that needs a home?

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  7. el duqueNovember 17, 2009 at 1:59 PM

    Waitaminute. I had Baldelli in there!

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  8. dadlakNovember 17, 2009 at 4:08 PM

    @duque - I think Kenny was talking to me about the Fenway Rehab Center - Baldelli was a patient along with Penny and Smoltz.

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  9. el duqueNovember 17, 2009 at 4:17 PM

    This is confusing.

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  10. dadlakNovember 17, 2009 at 4:48 PM

    Perhaps another pie chart would help.

    ReplyDelete
  11. el duqueNovember 17, 2009 at 4:50 PM

    I'm thinking of a pie chart to explain the last pie chart.

    ReplyDelete

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