Forget that episode of "House" and the "Avitar" trailer. The spookiest images this October are of this roadmap-eyed mom talking about being unable to climb from bed because she knows in her heart that life absolutely, totally sucks.
Nothing outspooks this lady's zombified face, while she winds up the little doll and Mr. Pharma Announcer describes the vomitng, sweating spells, Tim Burton dreams and abrupt urges to eat a drill bit -- which are better than the feelings already in her head.
Nope, life sucks. Nothing matters. The world is hell, and where's Mommy's helper bottle?
Without chemicals, life itself would be impossible. So why not amp-up some hope, especially if your team loses four?
Folks, we've come a long way from "Ballantine Blasts" and the "one beer to have when you're having more than one." The Divisionals gave us liquor ads, couched with the "Always drink responsibly!" guilt-avoidance mantra.
Maybe we should stop complaining that World Series games start too late for children to watch. The ads are too inappropriate.
If the Yankees blow it, these anti-depressant jolts might just be the last image I remember before throwing up, sweating and jumping off the 19th floor.
Another commercial I'm sick of is for the new Wanda Sykes show. Anyone else think she looks a little like Pedro Martinez?
ReplyDeleteHarsh but true!
ReplyDeleteFuckin' a.
ReplyDeleteIf the Yankees lose this gig, Big Phama can create dolls to look like failed Yankees.
ReplyDeleteI see Joe Girardi as a wind-up. And Cano.
Seriously, would Freddy Guzman have hit better than Cano?
Ramiro Pena, Miguel Cairo, Luis Sojo, Horace Clarke, Bobby Meachem, Pat Kelly, Clay Bellinger, Fred Stanley, Mariano Duncan, Jose Vizcaino, Andy Fox, Homer Bush, Andy Stankiewicz, Ruben Amaro, D'Angelo Jiminez, Gene Michael, and my uncle Joe DeMaestri [who changed his last name to avoid ridicule]would have hit better than Cano.
ReplyDelete