Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Nine Ways the Marlins Spend their Yankee Luxury Tax Money


Bud Selig is getting on the Florida Marlins case for being slimy, chistling tightwads. Nobody knows what they do with all that luxury tax money they receive from the Yankees.

Here's how the Marlins spend it.

1. Latest iPhone baseball video game apps, where they own A-Rod & Jeet, and win every time.

2. Ad campaign to make team nickname "Feisty Fish" household phrase.

3. Pay off phone bill for hours spent trying to trade Hanley Ramirez for no names.

4. Auditions, trips to Vegas, surgical enhancements, for famous "Marlins Mermaids" cheerleaders.

5. Paying team's share of Bud Selig's $16.5 million salary.

6. Bonuses to top Goldman-Sachs executives.

7. Winter vacation time-sharing units in Arizona.

8. Donations to al Qaeda training camps in Northern Pakistan.

9. Snow removal.
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1 comment:

  1. Joe DePastryJanuary 13, 2010 at 2:29 PM

    10. Parties to celebrate knocking the Mets out of the playoffs on the last day of the season.

    ReplyDelete

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