Sunday, January 24, 2010

Open Letter to Brian Cashman: For Godsake, Sign Damon Already!!!!!


Dear Madam or Sir:

OK, you impressed us. You know how to bargain. Landing Nick Johnson is the stuff of Nobel Prizes. May we never face you in arbitration or a garage sale.

But now it's time to punt corporate responsibilities and do the right thing.

Sign Johnny Damon.

For three months now, Yankee blogs, Yankee writers and Yankee fans have clamored for Johnny updates like stray dogs outside a Hormel plant. Listen, Cash... if you can't see how much the Yankiverse loves this guy, then you driving too fast to read the highway signs, you are eating potato chips too quickly to read the ingredients, you are sleeping with too many women to recognize the... OK... losing train of thought... let's leave it there.

BUT LOOK AROUND, CASH... even today -- they're still writing about Johnny.

Yes, Brett Gardner can play LF. (Jamie Hoffmann? Well, a few of us do remember Josh Phelps.) But Boston just broke their piggy bank. And we're an OF injury away from -- what -- "Now batting, the leftfielder, Number 73, Colin Curtis..."? Our bottom three hitters could be Molina, Gardner and Hoffmann. That's the Washington Nationals. There's no guarantee Nick Swisher ever sees .240 again. Have you forgotten how two years ago, our vaunted team just stopped hitting?

No. Of course, not. You know this. You built a championship team. Your acumen is not in doubt. But what we're worrying about is the brothers. Have they grown that tight?


Old George would never $5 million stand in a way of a guy who's given as much as Johnny Damon.


You gotta get to them. You gotta tell them: If they don't sign him, they could be digging deeper into their pockets on June 21, looking for a salary dump hitter that also costs prospects.


Sign Johnny Damon. Stand up, Cash! Sign Johnny Damon, and we can win two in a row.


Sign Johnny Damon. Sign Johnny Damon. Dammot, I'm not gonna stop until you do it.


Signjohnnydamonsignjohnnydamonsignjohnnydamonsignjohnnydamonsignjohnnydamonsignjohnnydamon...

5 comments:

  1. But if Johnny can't find a job and stays in shape...and I need him in June...I'll only have to pay him for part of the season...the old Roger Clemens ploy. Pretty shrewd thinking, huh???

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  2. Every time Dookie wants a player, we don't get him. Is this reverse mojo ? Why do you hate Johnny ?

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  3. I think this should be a "Special Comment" on Countdown.

    ReplyDelete

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