We knew this would happen when TMZ, the Internet marriage of Liz Smith and the KGB, opened a jocksniffer site. From now on, every Yankee stars on Candid Camera -- all Yanks underwear, all the time.
Yesterday, they troweled photos of Jeet playing tennis yesterday. OK. Fine. But here's how they write it:
With his good friend Tiger Woods still MIA -- New York Yankees stud Derek Jeter took to the tennis court...
Perfect. Did Terry Francona write the copy? Right off the bat, they link Jeet to today's brand name bad boy scandal -- with no reason other than they can. Derek and Tiger. Two peas in a pod? Must be. TMZ says so.
Listen: I don't give a flying fuck about who Derek Jeter dates, as long as I can access hot pictures of her on Google. After that, fuckit. All I want are hits with runners in scoring position. I don't even care about his preferred scoring positions.
So TMZ rides Jeet on the net. Seems harmless. But we know where this is going. And the message to every Joba and Phil should be clear: Never scratch your balls in public. Never pick your nose alone in the car. Don't fart in bed. You're in the crosshairs. We have a new enemy. It's not the Redsocks. Jim Murray must be rolling over in his grave. He was the greatest sportswriter in history, and he was blind.
Joba never gets the message, so good luck with that.
ReplyDeleteDerek and Tiger were shaving buddies for awhile.
ReplyDeleteI like Jeter's stomach. It just shows he's enjoying the buffet at the Caribbean resort instead of eating Girardi's alfalfa sprouts.
ReplyDeleteIf you like his tummy, you'll just love mine.
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