MLB hoping to use fingerprints to supplement its systematic exploitation of Latino boys

Bud Zelig, MLB's $16.5 million, soon-to-be-a-statue leader, is cracking down on the systematic, pedophiliantic signing of 16-year-old Dominican boys.

Flash news alert (and if you have a weak heart, be careful, because this is a shocker): They lie about their ages.

No, it's not that the system encourages pimps -- AGENTS! I MEAN AGENTS! -- to find strapping toddlers and direct them into baseball "academies." MLB is fine with that.

No, it's not that 10 and 11-year-olds are steered toward trainers whose methods of building muscle mass would be questioned even for use on bovines in the United States. Nope. We're down with that.

It's not that families sell their 14 and 15-year-olds in a system that would be condemned in this country. Nosir.

It's not that the kids sign pro deals at 16, before physical growth is determined, leaving the vast majority unprepared and uneducated when their careers have flamed out by 20.

Nope. The problem is their agents get more money by lying about their ages.

Of course, it teaches them the golden rule: Lying is the way to go!

A reprehensible act? Definitely.

A reprehensible act in a reprehensible system.

And over decades, MLB has done nothing to change it.

Bud Selig could do something. He could ban the signing of players until age 17, or until they graduate from a U.S.-equivalent high school. Yeah, there would be moaning, but after a few fines were doled out, the teams would comply. We just don't do it. We're comfortable with the plantations and the pimps, AGENTS! I MEAN AGENTS!