Nick Johnson Downgraded to Spring Training DL

Nick Johnson will be out of the line-up for a while.

He has been put on a special spring training DL which, heretofor was available only to Jose Reyes and Carl Pavano.

Yankee trainers ( get better Mr. Monahan, we love you and need you ) are at a loss as to which treatment to give Nick on which day.

For starters, Nick will have an eye test and a Yankee-designed" shoe selection" test. It will be his version of the IQ test the NFL gives its prospects.

Nick will be required to identify each shoe in his locker, and the purpose for each shoe. Only when Nick gets at least three right, will he be allowed to dress in the Yankee uniform.

Nick will also be taken to each stage of spring training in a golf cart. His itinerary currently includes; trips to the batting cage, infield practice ( where he will disembark in the FB coaching box ), and at bats when he is deemed healthy enough to swing.

A designated runner will replace Nick if and when he reaches base when the Yankees do not have the ball.

If Nick is in the game at the game's conclusion, he will be taken to the bullpen on the cart and transferred to a van, for return to his hotel.

But he will not be permitted to drive.