Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Yankeetorial: With its bondage-club pride, the Republican Party is channeling great Yankee teams from the past


In February, the Yankees enjoyed a male-bonding excursion to a Tampa fun arcade, where the players drank cherry colas, played whack-a-mole and tried to pick up the 16-year-old girls selling tokens. Last year, they bowled. Next year, surely, a round of Putt-Putt looms.

Something has gone terribly wrong in the universe.

What would Babe Ruth say to these Yankees? "Next round of Skee-ball is on me, boys?"
Did Billy Martin get into a fight at the Copa so modern Yankees could improve their Ms. Pacman scores?
Whatever happened to A-Rod being King of the Strip Clubs?
HAS THE REPUBLICAN PARTY STOLEN OUR GREAT YANKEE PRIDE FROM THE PAST?

According to reports, rather than wasting money on paperclips from OfficeMax, the GOP central command spent $2,000 at a quality sex bondage club. That's probably four handcuff dances and a whipping. That's a scandal? Four measily handcuff dances and a whipping?
The Yankees of old traded families. Whitey, Mickey and Billy were known as the Unholy Trio for the amount of booze they could consume.
The Republicans are acting more like a major league baseball champions than the champions themselves.

What are we going to tell our children?
Jim Bunning is out on a Viagra-hazed bondage-binge, and look -- here's Nick Swisher's newest quilt?

1 comment:

  1. I'd doubled my amounts of drinking and skirt-chasing to try to take up the slack, but then yankeeprincess told me I wasn't a member of the team and could no longer address the Yankees as "we." Yankee wusses, you're on your own.

    ReplyDelete

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