10 Reasons Why We Love Arizona

1. Their beautiful 60-year old women. The skin reminds me of my first catcher's mitt.

2. Cowboy hats on realtors. 

3. Randy Johnson. I still cherish that pivotal playoff game when he pitched for us against Detroit. How many runs did he give up? Five, six? Aww, who's counting!

4. Sportsmanship.

5. Mark Grace. Everybody loves him, and he loves everybody back. He loves you, right now, reading this. He's a sweetheart, you know.

6. The political movement of, "Mr. Gorbachev, put up that wall!" Bravo, America! Surround the entire state.

7. Don't they have those marching ants armies that devour everything in their path? I love them, too.

8. Sand. They have enough in abundance to supply America with all her sand needs.

9. John McCain's daughter. She's the perky-quirky, fresh young face of the new Republican (Don't say George W!) Party!

10. Blacktop. Oh, I love how it bubbles and oozes under the summer sun. A hundred and twenty? Let's play two!