Shocker: In IT IS HIGH mock draft, Yankees select 57-year-old recovering alcoholic

Joining the trend of Internet mock drafts, our intrepid IT IS HIGH scouting staff put together a mock-up of the big Major League action that will be happening this week. As usual, the fur flew, when the Yankees, drafting last, selected designated hitter Dewey Womack, an out-of-work former plumber from Ashtabula, Ohio, (right) in the first round.

Womack's strengths were described this way: High ceiling, easy to sign and likely to have Tommy John surgery. His downside? The AARP membership and a cancerous mole on his left testicle, though it might just be a reaction to the years working in asbestos.

Here's how the mock IT IS HIGH draft "shook out."

1. Washington Nationals: Bryce Harper (everybody's top pick!)

2. Pittsburgh: Manny Machado (everybody's second pick)

3. Baltimore: Sidd Finch, pitcher  (everybody's third pick)

4. Kansas City: Gil Gamesh, pitcher. 

5. Cleveland: O.K. Ocator, dwarf

6. Arizona: Roy Hobbs, outfielder

7. NY Mets, Sam Malone, bartender

8. Houston: Steve Nebraska, pitcher

9. San Diego: Kenny Powers, pitcher

10. Oakland: Ricky Vaughn, pitcher (pictured, right)