Who is the real BP? Big Papi: He's hitting .324 since the oil spill began

As the U.S. Department of Revenge ponders criminal charges against BP, let's hope they also probe those who've capitalized on the pain and suffering of the Gulf Coast. If so, they need look no father than the giant slug seen near Boston Harbor.

Since April 20, when nightmare crude began souping the Gulf of Mexico, Big Papi -- David Ortiz  -- has been a new person, hitting .324 with 12 home runs and 31 RBIs. In fact, no sooner did the Deep Sea Horizon explode than Papi started hitting -- as if the notion of dead pelicans made him feel juiced again.

We say if Papi had a conscience, he would offer himself as a plug for the gaping hole of misery that has put a smile back on his famous lips. We won't hold our breaths.

Let's just stop that leak before October.

Obviously, the Redsocks hope otherwise.