2. Team lashed to flatbed truck for ride through "Canyon of Losers."
4. Set burning paper bags of dog-doo outside clubhouse, so they stomp out fires and get stinky.
5. On live YES postgame report, page "Jack Meawff."
6. Players required to write 5,000-word apology to George Steinbrenner plaque.
7. Stake players in desert path of fire ant army.
8. New walk-off pie recipe: Banana-cream-and-battery acid.
9. 2011 Yankee manager: Stanley McCrystal.
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