Paladino: Papi and Pedroia may have cheated on wives

To: All Media
From: PALADINO FOR GOVERNOR campaign

News Release:

Emerging New York Republican gubernatorial candidate Carl Paladino, rallying support from angry Yankee fans, said today key members of the Boston Redsocks may have had extramarital affairs, but they have escaped notice because the Redsock-friendly media refuses to ask tough questions.

"I'm not saying they had affairs," the Buffalo businessman said, in a breath of fresh air. "I'm saying the media ought to be looking into whether they had affairs, instead of sending their goons to Arod's house and upsetting his wife and kids."

Paladino, who has said he intends to attack New York state's deficit with "Mark Teixiera's bat," said he believes Dustin Pedroia, Kevin Youkilis and David Ortiz have cheated on their wives and gotten away with it. He intends to reveal the truth later in the campaign, after sources are vetted and checks have been cut.